Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

Major Self-Esteem Research Findings 77Similarly, guilt, particularly what existentialists call “authentic guilt,”may be understood as the failure to live up to more than just personalstandards or those of a particular reference group. The connectionbetween being virtuous and self-esteem was identified earlier when weexamined the findings about values and self-esteem in certain types ofself-esteem moments: Each time we act virtuously, or in a way that is recognizedas adhering to a reasonable standard concerning what is desirable,healthy, or “good,” we also find ourselves as worthy because ouractions express ourselves in these situations. Of course, each time we failto do so affects self-esteem in a correspondingly negative way, too. Kernis(2003b) examines this relationship further in terms of “authenticity,” atheme that we shall explore in some detail later in Chapter 5.Influence versus Powerlessness“Power” is the term that both Coopersmith (1967) and Epstein (1979)used to describe one’s ability to manage or direct one’s environment.However, in this case, I will use the word “influence” to describe thissource of self-esteem and break with tradition for two reasons. First,power over one’s environment may capture something of how this kindof behavior is actually lived, but other people can be a part of one’s environment,too. It is difficult to embrace the idea that a person who acts ontheir environment to their own ends while affecting others negatively isactually tapping into a genuine source of self-esteem. More to the empiricalpoint, although power can be used to describe a way of relating toothers, it may be too strong a word to describe the more subtle aspects ofinteracting with others effectively. For example, gentle persuasion can bejust as effective as more direct assertions of power in some situations andthe word “power” may not be able to capture this source of self-esteem.Second, there may be a gender-based problem with the term“power” in that it may be too “masculine” to be genuinely descriptive, atleast for some people. For instance, I have found in working with bothacademic and clinical self-esteem enhancement groups that women oftenobject to this term. When asked why, the most commonly offeredresponse is that, for them, power carries too much of a negative connotation,as in “power over someone” or “the abuse of power.” When I askwhat term they would prefer, the word “influence” is recommended mostoften, perhaps because it is more gender-free or even maybe because it issimply more descriptive and therefore, more accurate. In any event, theability to interact with the environment, including others in it, in a waythat shapes or directs events is a form of competence in dealing with thechallenges of living. Success in this area leads to a sense of having some“say so” in life, which means that this type of power helps us deal with