Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

216 SELF-ESTEEM RESEARCH, THEORY, AND PRACTICEbasic sources they worked with in Week 2—Handout 3. This informationis to be written in part II-B on the worksheet for the current step to helpfocus awareness. The activity also helps participants build an efficientprogram because they can begin to look for the kinds of self-esteemopportunities they need to make a given project successful. Individualswho suffer from difficulties with competence, for instance, might thinkabout increasing various skills that could help them to have more achievementsor influence. Some relevant possibilities in this regard includelearning how to speak more effectively and taking a leadership-trainingcourse. Those who score lower on worthiness scales might seek out interpersonalopportunities that could lead to being accepted or valued more,such as doing volunteer work. Or they could look for ways to act morevirtuously, even if it is just to work on eliminating a bad habit. Indeed, itis important to note that it is useful to deal with a negative behavioralpattern that undermines self-esteem in a given individual’s life. Behaviorsthat end up making a person experience a loss of worthiness because theyfeel “wrong” to begin with, such as giving in to a negative temptation,are especially detrimental to self-esteem.Notice that although either competence or worthiness is emphasizedin any given project, the other component is active as well. When encouragingthe individual to increase competence, we also want them to dothat to reach worthy goals, not unworthy ones. When helping someoneto increase their sense of worthiness, we want them to do so by beingvirtuous or by behaving in ways that facilitate being valued for positivequalities that they actually demonstrate, not through mere passiveacceptance or blanket approval. Self-esteem always involves both competenceand worthiness because it takes one to balance the other in theoryand in practice.The next part, labeled II-C on the activity sheet, brings the problemsolving skills work done during the last session into play. Here, we askindividuals to examine their self-esteem needs, to consider the ways inwhich the source of self-esteem they are focusing on manifests itself concretelyin their own lives, and to generate some goals that are realistic interms of their own situation and abilities. Once again, the tendency is forpeople to set their sights a little too high, so I help by asking them todecide on one or two goals that are meaningful and realistic. Sometimesit is helpful to go around the room asking participants what they are targetingas a goal so that others get some ideas. It is also possible to askparticipants to work in pairs to help in this fashion.The final part, II-D, is the most difficult and important. Again, itrelies on the problem-solving skills learned in the last session. The task isto help members create a practical program; one that involves clear, realisticsteps that result in reaching a reasonable self-esteem–enhancing goal.