Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

130 SELF-ESTEEM RESEARCH, THEORY, AND PRACTICEself-esteem by focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses. However,this part of the process only plants the seeds for lasting change. The analogyis quite appropriate because it implies a beginning but one that isfragile and in need of further attention. Thus, “The first two phases inthemselves are not sufficient as newly acquired positive self-esteem can belost if it is not nurtured. Teaching nurturing helps the person to enhancestrengths and use them to minimize weaknesses” (Frey & Carlock, 1989,p. 197). The aim of the nurturing phase, then, is to help the new pro–selfesteembehaviors to take root, so to speak. It is especially important tofoster the ability to help people transfer their newly developed awarenessof the importance of positive self-esteem to environments outside thesupportive but limited atmosphere of the therapist’s office or group room.Moreover, Frey and Carlock recognize that this project is difficult undereven the best of circumstances. For instance, they point out that somepeople suffer from home or work environments that are “toxic” (a richlydescriptive term) to self-esteem. The deepest or most intensive work ofthe program is done during this phase.The major thrust of the activities involves dealing with the self-fulfillingdynamics that Frey and Carlock place at the heart of perpetuating lowself-esteem. In particular, the negative thinking and behaving patternsthat sustain low self-esteem must be overcome and replaced with morepositive ones. Accordingly, they offer a number of exercises and activitiesto facilitate this development. For instance, teaching individuals to identifytheir self-esteem needs and to get them met in appropriate ways aresteps in the right direction. Similarly, participants are asked to affirmtheir own positive qualities, as well as those of others, in a supportivegroup setting. Likewise, the importance of individuals developing theirown self-esteem support systems is stressed.In the final stage, this approach focuses on the importance of maintainingself-esteem after the program is over. In this fourth or “maintenance”phase, “One needs to learn how to maintain adequate self-esteemjust as it is necessary to maintain a car, house, or an interpersonal relationshipif it is to grow and flourish” (Frey & Carlock, 1989, p. 205).There are several important reasons for building such a step into a selfesteemenhancement program. First, Frey and Carlock see increasing selfesteemas an evolving process, so the work that goes on in therapy is justthe beginning. As people or their circumstances change, the ways they gettheir self-esteem needs met may change too. Thus, “During the maintenancephase, individuals are taught to turn experiences into learning situations,practice facilitative risk taking, set appropriate goals, forecastdesired personal outcomes, and publicly affirm goals” (p. 206). The exercisesand activities used to further these aims include learning how to setrealistic goals and how to develop appropriate risk-taking strategies.