Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

ProcedureA Two-Factor Self-Esteem Enhancement Program 203The major activity this week is to work on what I euphemistically callself-esteem “gumption traps” (Pirsig, 1974), which is a phrase describinghow we often create and fall into self-esteem problems that are particularlyvexing because they lessen our sense of worthiness. If the phrase“gumption trap” seems awkward, then “self-esteem trap” may be used.These self-esteem traps are powerful, co-constitutive processes. Forexample, they help us to experience ourselves as being less worthy thanwe are and to move through the situations of life as though we are genuinelyunworthy, thereby keeping us locked into our own negative selfesteemthemes. These are not the times in life when we face a challenge,try our best, and still fail. Those events do lower self-esteem and challengeour competence, but having tried our best, we maintain our worthiness.Instead, we are asking people to identify the habitual andunnecessary ways that they work to maintain low, unstable, or fragileself-esteem. We use two exercises to facilitate this transformation. Thefirst one is more humanistic and involves actually experiencing that aboutourselves that is already worthy, even though we may tend to hide itfrom awareness. The second, which is based on the principles of cognitivetherapy, involves identifying and disrupting the habits of mind oftencalled “thinking patterns” that lead to a lower than appropriate sense ofworthiness.Step 1: Enhancing Worthiness. This exercise is usually a ratherpleasant, highly meaningful activity that is designed to help participantsget in touch with their positive (worthy) qualities and to do so in a supportiveenvironment where others are genuinely accepting of them. Theexercise involves asking participants to fill out the Enhancing Worthinessthrough Positive Feedback sheet (Week 3—Handout 1, part A), whichinvolves writing down 10 positive qualities or attributes about oneself.The list is also shared with the group in part B.Occasionally, a person is unable to complete the list. There are tworeasons this situation occurs. First, people tend to look for unusually significantachievements or outstanding qualities. Many of us would have ahard time coming up with 10 of those, so it is important to tell participantsthat things we easily overlook are also indications of worthiness,such as being a good parent, being faithful to one’s word or spouse, andso on. Second, low or competence-based self-esteem can interfere with aperson’s ability to perceive or identify worthy things about himself orherself. Sometimes the individual feels so unworthy that he or she thinksthere is nothing good to say about himself or herself. Indeed, I stillremember one woman who dropped out of a group because she feltunworthy of feeling worthy about herself! Fortunately, she went back to