Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

Major Self-Esteem Theories and Programs 137Avoidance makes it difficult to make realistic and effective decisionsabout what needs to be done, let alone take advantage of important possibilitiesfor growth.In addition, excessive avoidance leads to chronic defensiveness,which creates its own burden: In turning away from the truth, we aretrapped by it because now we must manage both the conflict and the falsesolution we offer it. Ultimately, habitual avoidance results in a phenomenonthe authors call “impression management,” which means having tomaintain a facade as well as continuing to avoid the threat that gave riseto it. This stance toward the world and others requires a massive expenditureof perceptual, psychological, and behavioral energies. The more wechoose avoiding over coping, the more likely serious distortions and unrealisticbehaviors are to occur. The development of positive self-esteembecomes extremely difficult under such conditions. If impression managementcontinues long enough, then low self-esteem develops and with itcomes an increased sensitivity to threats or even the possibility of threats.Eventually, this self-fulfilling prophecy leads to more serious difficulties,including the development of abnormal or pathological behavior.Bednar and colleagues maintain that although human beings bothcope with and avoid conflict, they tend to develop a response style thatfavors one or the other over time through the process of “reciprocaldeterminism,” which is a form of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course,the healthy way to deal with conflict is to cope with it, which, accordingto Bednar and colleagues, requires considerable effort, even courage.Coping means facing the problem honestly, tolerating discomfort anduncertainty while doing so, taking psychological risks associated withbeing open to self-awareness about shortcomings, and, above all, acceptingresponsibility for one’s actions. These are the existential componentsof self-esteem. However, this response style is not typical of those wholive with low self-esteem or problems associated with it.From this position, changing self-esteem must be based on the lawsgoverning feedback, circularity, and self-regulation. The authors pointout, for instance, that to survive, systems can never really be completelyclosed; they must always maintain the ability to adapt to changes in theenvironment because change is an environmental fact. Hence, new kindsof feedback can affect old patterns. If this influence becomes strongenough, relatively significant changes may occur. It is even possible fornew homeostatic balance to be reached. In regard to self-esteem, then, ifwe can change the coping versus avoiding ratio in a favorable direction,there should be a corresponding change in the quality of self-evaluations.If this new and positive information occurs frequently or powerfullyenough, then the self-fulfilling nature of the system should lead to higher