Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

A Two-Factor Self-Esteem Enhancement Program 211the temptation is to go directly to the problem-solving steps listed in part B,it is important to spend some time on the theory behind good problemsolving in part A. This practice helps participants appreciate that feeling,thinking, and behaving are distinct parts of the process, which is importantbecause sometimes they have trouble distinguishing between one or moreareas. For instance, I still find that men tend to have more difficulty thanwomen with recognizing feelings, which often means that men have moretrouble detecting early signs of a developing problem. All too often thistendency means that things have to get worse before they can get better.Thus, taking the time to explain the value of being able to identify andlisten to feelings is helpful for many clients who have not been socialized inthis way. Then, I present and describe the 8 steps identified in part B.The next part of the session consists of walking the participantsthrough the steps of the problem-solving process format presented in thehandout for this part of the session, Week 4—Handout 2: EnhancingCompetence: Problem-Solving Worksheet, much in the way that we didwith cognitive self-esteem traps. I usually begin by listing in order all thesteps and procedures from part A on the board, which may be done in avertical or horizontal fashion, although I find the latter more useful.Next, I take a problem I am facing in my own life that is not too personalor overly complex and work it through the process step-by-step. Inother words, I first identify a problem and list it. Then, as step 2 indicates,I stop and think about the difficulty and try to articulate what isreally bothering me about this problem so that we are able to take thethird step and decide what a realistic goal would be in dealing with thisparticular issue.Next, we think about potential solutions to this particular problemand do some group brainstorming to generate a number of possibilities.This fourth step of identifying possible solutions may be a little trickybecause people tend to want to evaluate the relative merits of each possiblesolution as it is offered. Someone, for instance, often says, “Well, thatsure won’t work,” and I have to remind the group that we are not yetevaluating solutions, just trying to list as many possibilities as we can.After writing all the possible solutions on the board, we move to the fifthstep, where we evaluate the alternatives individually. The typicalapproach is to think about the likely consequences for each one. Puttingthem in some kind of order in terms of what a solution “gets me” versuswhat it will “cost me” is helpful. Next, in the sixth step, I select the bestalternative listed earlier. Note that what makes this step “best” is that itis the one that offers something of a real solution but at a cost an individualis willing to pay. In other words, the most effective solution issometimes not chosen because it requires more work than the individualis willing to do. Then, of course, it is important to take the time to make