Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

A Meaning-Based, Two-Factor Theory of Self-Esteem 179Of course, there is good and bad developmental news in that suchself-esteem moments are a part of adulthood. The bad news is that mostof us have to deal with these types of problematic self-esteem challengesrepeatedly in life: We cannot escape the psychological vulnerability theycreate because it comes from who each of us is as an individual. Indeed,most of us have several such problematic self-esteem themes. For those ofus with particularly poor self-esteem developmental histories, the cross ofself-esteem is quite a burden. That there is no guarantee that we willresolve our self-esteem issues in a positive way is another piece of badnews. Sometimes an individual’s life is severely affected by this harshexistential fact, especially insofar as low self-esteem is related to variousconditions mentioned in the DSM system.But the good news is just as potent. For one thing, this aspect ofbeing human is like psychological karma. We do indeed reap what wesow in terms of competence and worthiness. Self-esteem, then, helps us tobe psychologically and existentially honest: We cannot get away with badchoices forever. In addition, positive or authentic self-esteem provides asense of direction in life, mainly because of the connection between selfesteemand worthiness. In this way, self-esteem is understood as a type ofinternal compass that is helpful in telling us where to go in difficult times.Thus, it would be genuinely terrible if we did not have a way of knowingthe importance of developing and maintaining positive self-esteem inadulthood. In addition, that the fundamental structure of self-esteem issuch that it “fates” us to face our particular problematic themes againand again is something to appreciate. This condition means that there ishope for the possibility of changing self-esteem in the future. In short,these self-esteem moments give us a second chance and more for developmentduring adulthood. This existential fact also has exciting therapeuticimplications that we discuss in the next chapter.In the final analysis, then, self-esteem is likened to a bucket of watercarried on a desert journey. The water, of course, represents self-esteembecause it is vital for survival. Each time we encounter a potential sourceof self-esteem and take advantage of it, self-esteem is “added” to thebucket. The more often we are valued by significant others, act withvirtue, use influence in a positive way, or reach a personal goal, the fartherwe walk a higher road without becoming distracted by lesser concerns.Although positive experiences with all four sources of self-esteemis probably optimal, it is important to at least find a source of competenceas well as one of worthiness. Such a balance is necessary to createself-esteem and to stabilize the vessel in which it is carried. In addition,the metaphor of carrying a bucket through the desert is apt in anotherway: Its water can be lost, which also has existential consequences thataffect our lives. One way to lose one’s self-esteem is akin to the kind of