Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

98 SELF-ESTEEM RESEARCH, THEORY, AND PRACTICEbut for those of us who are interested in change or working with selfesteemclinically, it is also the most exciting. As before, the findings presentedhere are qualitative and quantitative but always based onpersistence, significance, or both.The Importance of Being Accepting and CaringWe saw from the findings concerning parental and social factors affectingself-esteem that how we are treated by others may affect its development.Although such factors may diminish somewhat with age, we never losethis capacity to respond: Parents are replaced by others such as friends,spouses, coworkers, and bosses, who accept or reject us in importantways. Being accepted, then, should be a part of any decent self-esteemenhancement program. This technique may be seen as the most basic onebecause it is tied to the development of self-esteem in the first place andbecause most systematic attempts to enhance it include acceptance as apart of the process (Bednar, Wells & Peterson, 1989; Coopersmith, 1967;Epstein, 1979; Sappington, 1989). Also, whether envisioned humanisticallyas providing “unconditional positive regard,” psychodynamicallyas a “working alliance,” or cognitive-behaviorally as “building rapport,”this technique has been found to be one of common factors essential tothe therapeutic process in general (Arkowitz, 1997). In addition, treatingthe individual suffering from self-esteem problems with such respect andcompassion can itself be a powerful therapeutic experience, mainlybecause he or she is usually more familiar with rejection than acceptance.In this sense, acceptance can be doubly helpful.Providing Consistent, Positive (Affirming) FeedbackThere are good reasons and some supporting evidence to maintain thatconsistently providing people with positive (affirming) feedback aboutthemselves or their behavior is another way of building self-esteem(Bednar, Wells & Peterson, 1989; Bednar & Peterson, 1995; Bhatti,Derezotes, Kim & Specht, 1989; Frey & Carlock, 1989). As Bhatti,Derezotes, Kim, and Specht (1989) summed it up, “Many experts suggestfocusing on positive rather than negative behavior to begin building selfesteem”(p. 54). No matter which standard approach to self-esteem oneuses, positive feedback makes a difference at the theoretical level. Forexample, a symbolic interactionalist steeped in the Cooley–Mead traditionmight understand such information in terms of positive “reflectedappraisals” that are involved in the development of an individual’s viewof their own self-worth. The humanistically oriented therapist could