Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice Toward a Positive ...

Major Self-Esteem Research Findings 67who have them. Although there is no simple causal relationship betweenbirth order and self-esteem, the general understanding seems to be thatfirst and only children receive more attention from and interaction withparents than those who arrive later, which means that more direct orfocused parental involvement occurs here than with other ordinal positions.However, it is important to remember that the quality of the interactionis more important for self-esteem than its quantity.ModelingCoopersmith (1967) first noticed a positive relationship between selfesteemlevels in mothers and their children. But Bednar, Wells, andPeterson (1989) made considerable use of this factor by pointing out thatparents actually show (i.e., live out, demonstrate, present by example)their children the route to self-esteem (or the lack of it) by how theyhandle their own challenges, conflicts, and issues. “The impact of parents’behavior upon the child’s self-esteem is undeniable; given the immaturityof children, however, parents’ expression of their own resolution ofthe self-esteem question is far more influential than what they teach verbally”(p. 257). Parents who face life’s challenges honestly and openlyand who attempt to cope with difficulties instead of avoiding themthereby expose their children early to a pro–self-esteem problem-solvingstrategy. Those who avoid dealing with difficulties reveal a negative routefor handling the challenges and problems of life. Either way, it is importantto remember that modeling helps set the stage for healthy self-esteemor problems with it.SummaryAlthough parents or primary caregivers are the first ones to bring thesekinds of social factors into play, it is especially important to remembertwo things as we move on. First, these social forces never leave us.“Across numerous studies with older children and adolescents, as well ascollege students and adults in the world of work and family, we havefound that the correlations between perceived support from significantothers and self-worth range from 0.50 to 0.65” (Harter, 1999, p. 175).Basic human warmth, encouragement, respect, and support are necessaryto the development or maintenance of self-esteem over the course of alifetime. Second, no single family or social factor is overwhelmingly significant.After all, some children with “great” parents turn out to be quitepoor in terms of their self-esteem and behavior, whereas many childrenwith poor parenting turn out to be high self-esteeming individuals whodemonstrate many desirable characteristics and behaviors.