L E T T E R S

XVIconcern for the upkeep of the houses in Paris and Rome, continued poverty,the lack of funds for even basic necessities, the need to beg constantly forfinancial assistance and to wait for aid to come, efforts to curry favor with therich in order to aid the poor, continued overwork in mind and body – such wasthe style of Janski’s life during his last years in Paris.In examining his conscience, Janski searched out every detail and accusedhimself in confession of even the smallest faults and failings – the failure toanswer a letter, drinking a cup of coffee or tea, drowsiness. Nevertheless, hewas held in highest esteem by the brethren. They were grateful for all that hedid for them: his concern for their continued conversion and his efforts tocreate conditions for self-improvement and to drag them out of vices such asgambling, drunkenness, and lust, even saving them from debts and prison.With reason they called him a saint. However, he himself was convinced thathe was the greatest of sinners, and he often recalled the sins of his past. Whenhe was the object of attack he remained silent and did not defend himself. Hedefended only his work, which he considered to be not so much his own asGod’s. He was ready at any moment to resign as superior of the communityand forfeit his role as founder. He prayed seriously over this question andasked others to do the same, namely to ask God to send someone more worthythan himself, a holier man, to direct this work. From the time of his threemonthretreat with the Trappists in the spring of 1839, Janski often thought ofsurrendering the superiorship of the community to someone more worthy.Janski’s humility and unconditional sincerity went to such a degree of heroismthat he kept all his notes describing even the most ugly of his past sins and allhis written preparations for confessions from the very first years of his strugglewith himself. There are some notes which carry the titles ―Don't read‖ and―Not for reading‖. But these very notes contain some of the most nobleresolutions, intentions and aspirations which all testify to a very high degree of