L E T T E R S

159Letter Nr. 45La Grande Trappe, June 23, 1839Madam Benefactress, and my dearest sister always!After such a long break in our correspondence, I feel obliged to beginby asking your pardon for any hardships you may have experienced on thisaccount. Furthermore, I would like to renew the assurance that, contrary toevery suspicion of change of sentiment on my part, I continue to regard you,dear sister, with most sincere respect, gratitude and devotion.Alas, God has not blessed my marriage to Alexandra. In fact, he hasseverely punished us; for, being unfaithful to Him, we have both deserved suchpunishment. 136 This is the one and all-embracing lesson to be derived from thewhole of our past sad experience... I can only hope that we might both come torecognize and accept this and know how to profit from the experience for ourown improvement.Dear sister, these few words that flow from my heart as a foreword towhat follows, offer the clearest indication of the intention with which I writethis letter. It will depend on you, dear sister, whether or not they will besuccessful in repairing the wrong.I offer this as my explanation of what was for me likewise the sadinterval that marks the break in our correspondence. 137In taking my farewell of Alexandra /I am obliged to go that far backinto the past/, I required and received her most formal promise that she wouldnever, under any pretext or condition return to Warsaw. 138 What happenedlater would amply justify my insistence on this promise.136 Alexandra, by her frivolous relationship with Witold Łuszczewski, and he by the loss of hisfaith and the lack. of consistency in the sacrifice he was making for her sake.137 The real reason for the break in the correspondence was the situation of the families that hadtaken part in the revolution after its failure. He was not even in contact with his brother.138 He feared her further contacts with Łuszczewski, the father of her child.