L E T T E R S

551carnal appetites. At this dinner, I felt like the prodigal son in the Gospel: havingwasted the gifts and graces which were given to me not so long ago, I hadreturned to the home of my Father... There I was, sitting at a banquet in the midstof the guests invited by God the Father, witnesses of my spiritual return. And,within my soul, I groaned and sighed to the Lord, seeking the graces necessary tofulfill my good resolutions in the future.O marvelous mercy of God! I, who not so long ago was so miserable,bothered and distressed by so many troubles, by most vexing; in large part knownto my Lady; irritations in relations with people as well as in material matters.Today, I am the happiest man alive! rejoicing and thanking God, even for all theproblems and worries, as if they were the greatest act of kindness... regardingthem as the most merciful and wisest way for God to judge ma, in order to keepme from falling and to instruct me in the way of humility, patience, sacrifice, anduntiring effort in the way of Christian life and salvation.True, when I remember some of the problems, needs, obligations andconcerns that will fall on my neck immediately after my return to Paris, my wholelower nature, as the theologians say, which, in Christ the Lord, quaked with fearand was drenched in bloody sweat in the Garden; grows weak within me, fears,trembles and is disturbed. But humility, patience, and hope in God’s mercyconquer even the greatest difficulties. I will conquer mine; I have this convictionand confidence in God.My dear Lady! From the time I first came to know you, my Lady hasalways been so good to me... I ask Madame most sincerely to say a short prayer -an Our Father or a Hail Mary - for my intention, to thank God for the invaluablegraces with which he has endowed me, and to obtain for me the gift ofperseverance in good. This is the very first concern that prompts me to write thisletter to my Lady.How is it possible that I, Lazarus, once dead by reason of my sins andsufferings, but raised to life by Christ our Lord, who is forever alive in his holyChurch, and only recently come to my Lady from the ends of the earth, dare insuch brotherly fashion address my Lady, and enter into the particulars and little