L E T T E R S

446that they could not hear what I wanted to say to them; and for me it was still tooearly to become involved in the public arena. By the end of 1833, my littlepublication was discontinued.Through the year 1834, I worked quietly, selling a variety of Polish x booksfor a well-known x entrepreneur in order to make a living. Meanwhile, I. was alsoinvolved in the interior and personal work that concerned my soul... I wasencountering continuous disturbances and constant need... daylong turmoil of mymind, lasting often throughout the night, longing for the. kingdom of God,searching for a way to reach it. The accumulation of all of these things finallyresulted in physical illness: my lungs became affected... I was diagnosed as atubercular, and many destined me for death! However, after a severe illness,during which I lay two months in bed, I arose healthy, healthier than I had everbeen before. This was in August. At the end of that year, 1834, I made up mymind to return completely to the unity of the universal Church of Christ, and did,in fact, follow through on this resolution.There is much that I would have to write about this action of mine. Uponreflection, however, I leave the explanation to some eventual conversation, andtoday, to your heart and to your favorable and trusting understanding.In 1835, that is last year, I accepted and fulfilled the task of tutorsuccessively in two Polish homes 456 . Finally, I worked whole-heartedly in humanrelations in this newly-chosen area. So far, God has blessed my work; and I amfull of hope for the future. Last month I resigned my tutorships, and with fivebrothers (Maliński is one of them) began to live a common life, bound together inthe unity of faith and hope. This number will soon increase, for there are otherswho are ready to join us, and are held back only by material difficulties. Besidethe internal brothers, there are also externs. I write openly, because what we aredoing here is public knowledge.456 First for the family of Prince Ogiński, then for the family of Prince Giedroyć.