L E T T E R S

531affairs in order. There will also be some small expenses wherever it is that I willgo. I will give you a very strict account, as in confession, of money used if Ishould ask for and need advice.Therefore, M. Caesar, after you have deducted enough to cover theadvances paid out to me in the past, if you should need the money, please send meas much as you can today, to satisfy my most urgent needs. In a word, I am askingyou in reference to the sum of money given for the payment of my debts, topermit me to use it according to that intention. For, having achieved peace andunion by the payment of my debts, I will thank God mightily for my unknownbenefactor and for one who is known to me, my dearest M. Caesar! I cannot, and Iought not, ask anything else today. My obligations to my creditors and theseriousness of my situation bid me to make this most solemn and sincere request.As for the rest of the funds, I present these needs to you even before thefact: If God blesses my plans, I expect that you will come to love our House in thedesert even more than the House in Paris. Because one of the main goals of themembers will be mortification the amount needed for our livelihood and upkeepwill be small. But the initial establishment will cost something and then we willneed books for religious instruction; in the beginning we will discontinue all otherinstructions there. M. Caesar, you will love this foundation, for it is possible that,with time, it will become for many of our young people who are most seriouslytroubled morally, asking of stern novitiate preparing for further work. By meansof prayer and penance it will be a sign, summoning all the erring and suffering inour fatherland etc. etc. But these are still only plans. However, if you do not rejectmy main idea. I do not expect that you will; after all, it fits into the category of ourformer projects for those outside Paris, and for the depots; You may allow certumquantum to be set aside for its realization. Otherwise, after paying my debts, theonly thing to do would be to use some portion of the 3,000 francs for this project.And since I would like to begin to implement it without delay, today I am reallyunable to do anything else, I would ask you to send the entire 3,000 francs, afterdeducting the money advanced to me, if your financial condition demands this.