L E T T E R S

210new principle - great will to do and failure in action. There was not a day, not aday when I didn’t think of you, of your holy faith, when I did not propose towrite you that very day. Several times I began to and each time after havingwritten some lines, I throw down the pen, I pace my little room, I'm nervous, Idream, fine aspirations, no good works. You see my dear father Talabot.By sinning by my silence towards you, I was sinning against ourfamily, against God and myself.My address is No. 8 Charterhouse Square.My dear Father,All that I have written you I wrote on last Monday. Yesterday, Sunday,I wanted to finish and send you the letter but I forgot that in this country,which still calls itself Christian par excellence, one cannot give to the postletters for foreign countries. So I had to wait till today to send it. However thismorning the rumors of the revolution in Poland I see verified in the papers.This event made a great impression on me. Pardon me, do pardon me I beg youthe inconsistency and perhaps a few symptoms of a new moral trouble that youare going no doubt to notice in the lines I am going to trace. As a result thisletter in which I wished only to fulfill the most sacred of my duties, the uniquecondition of my happiness, the most religious duty of a son, the faith towardshis father. I implore pardon for the faults of my past, advice and orders for theorganization of my future writings. After what I wrote you the day beforeyesterday I still had three things to do: 1. to finish the explanations that I wasgiving you about my past, or what is the same thing, to show what my presentstate is by the conclusion at which I wanted to arrive in that letter. 2. .... and Iconfused my life, I placed in your hands all my existence because I was takingeverything good that I wish for and if it is the best they will wish it, we wish italready. I thought myself very strong and that strength was only weakness andambition. On the day of my reception you placed me in the third degree of ourhierarchy. It was a favor on your part and I bore it as an injustice. I believed