L E T T E R S

465Letter Nr. 108Mortange, November 25, 1837You cannot say or think anything about me that would be harsher than thepain and disgust I feel as a result of the disorder in my financial affairs, and theplea which I made to you, my dearest Louis, in my last letter. Where on the onehand I am faced with extreme necessity, on the other I find complete confidence inyour boundless kindness for me, a confidence that will not allow itself to beshaken by any considerations whatsoever; and it is this that has prompted andencuoraged me to take this step.I am not writing this letter from Paris, but from Mortagne (departament de1’Orne). I came here for spiritual purposes (to La Grande Trappe); but also forcedto escape the pressure of obligations and dead-lines in Paris...! Forced to the pointwhere I have decided not to return to Paris before I receive a favorable responsefrom you. And now it is only to you that I can look. At present, I have no othermeans of salvation. Your response, addressed (to Paris) to BoulevardMontparnasse 25, will be sent on to me here, or wherever I may be (I will returnonly after I have received it).It would be useless to go into the particulars and the minor details of mypresent dire distress. I have indicated to you in a lump sum just how dire it is: upto 1,500! ... I am writing to you about it once more in order to put ―le couteau a lagorge‖ 497 . I plead with you by all the regard we once had for one another (at HolyCross) 498 ; To the extent that you can, save me, as soon as possible! I am writingagain on the chance that you may have responded to my previous letter, butwithout sending assistance, to move you to rescue me immediately. You, all ofyou, have spent most of your time working for a living; the smallest part of my497 ―A knife to the throat.498 The church and monastery of the Vincentians in Warsaw, where L. Królikowski lived as astudent, and where he often hosted B. Jański, in his room above the door.