L E T T E R S

522regular life. For some time now, he had even given up confession! Moreover,since he was not drawing a salary, he found in the house no assistance other than aplace to live. This provided him with the occasion and pretext to reject everyobligation to us. One of his colleagues 613 was delighted to offer him room andboard in return for a little work, and so he moved out. The rumor soon spreadabout that all of our relationships were being dissolved.I arrived. Things were bad! One person after another came to tell me thatsince the inner arrangement among us was failing instead of developing as Ipromised... new people were supposed to enter, but they were not entering... andthe older ones, like Rettel, were leaving etc. etc... that we will not survive. Wehave neither the personnel nor the means to carry on our work. And everyone wastelling me about his personal plans. Moreover, there was still another reason forall of this despondency, about which I will speak immediately: My long-timecreditors 614 began to bother me even before I left. In may absence, before a newyear began, they became insolent in their demands; and, in the end, they becameso unmerciful in their threats that, for the weak in spirit, living any longer with memust, indeed, have become unbearable.Dearest M. Caesar, without any cover-up I am revealing all of the spiritualmisery through which we passed; for in reference to you I feel this as anobligation and as something my heart needs. Thank God, in these difficultcircumstances I did not lose confidence in God even for a moment; neither did Ilose faith in the necessity and the possibility of remedying the evil which couldcreate grave scandal for others and injure our own people. Even though, in anycase, only a temporary suspension of our projects would have ensued. However,even this danger is no longer present. To sum up the conclusion of this matter in aword: after this severe test of our spirit and our fragile spiritual union, we haveemerged from the trial stronger spiritually than we ever were before. God’s mercyhas repaired everything, has infused new life into everyone, and has blessed myefforts exceedingly. One after the other, they were persuaded to accept our613 Luis Nabielak a member of Polish Democratic Society.614 The owners of the home on Notre Dame des Champs were demanding expensive compensationfor what they claimed as damage to the rooms.