L E T T E R S

631Therefore, I will add only a general report about our material situation, theuncertainty of which must greatly disturb you. This once again, as a consequenceof disappointed hopes and my own sins, was the chief cause of all our troubles.Don’t worry! Thank God, we have not injured anyone; and the total sum ofall our debts and obligations has increased only slightly. It is not so excessive that,with the help of good people and by the grace and providence of God, we would,not be able to pay it. The greatest evil that can result from our present straitenedcircumstances if, indeed, this can be called en evil is that: having cut downalready, in March, from two houses to one 835 and from seventeen brothers toseven, I will try to get the owner to cancel the contract on this present house; thenI will rent just a little house, in this same section of the city, where I can live withthis reduced number of brothers. This whole matter will be decided within a fewdays after my return to Paris.However, I am prompted to make some effort to remain where we are, aswe are, by the conviction that, having survived the present difficulties, we couldmanage to maintain ourselves in the future; and that, with a view to ourobligations and our needs in the immediate future, it would be better to do so.But, to be humbled in the eyes of men is something so holy, good and veryuseful that I do not honestly know which of these two situations I would choose.Hence I surrender myself with complete peace and confidence to the will of God,and refuse to worry about anything.I do not know how I can pour out my whole soul and my whole life inthanksgiving to God for this freedom and peace of soul I feel, or for the readinessand eagerness He gives me in his great love, permitting me to start anew as itwere and this is basically what I must do, from A-B-C, but with the experience ofthe past, in work for and in the service of God, which we have undertaken as acommunity. I continue to trust in the help that comes from your love and yourprayers; and for my part I do not cease to remember you in all my prayers, askingGod’s most abundant graces and blessing for you.835 At the turn of the year 1838/9 there were three Houses Montparnasse 25, Notre Dame desChamps 31 bis, and Vavin 13. After the difficulties in March, 1839, only Vavin 13 remained.