L E T T E R S

213When you called me into the bosom etc...That is all that I had to tell you essentially. I am going to inform youtoo, that in spite of all my weakness, since the germ of life that you created inme, was alive and during these months and the germ showed itself in some ofmy acts. And although I did nothing positive for your doctrine, I am notannouncing any conversions because I did not live quite in God and for God,and God refused me the strength of an apostle. However, I tried, I tried to findout the means for action in this locality.Before arriving here I considered Mr. Owen as a man who no doubtmore than any of the English liberals who had broken with the past. He desiresas you know a new organization of social existence [?]. A few days after myarrival I went to one of his Sunday readings. I followed them some hours toknow his principles, his direction. In spite of all his lack of logic, all his faultsand prejudice, he is closer to us. Not long ago he held a meeting to considerthe effects of religions on the social state. Condemning all, he didn't notice thathe was condemning only the powerless religions of the past, and that he wasdreaming himself of a natural religion. It was a presentiment of our doctrine.He looks upon the universe as a great truth by which man to be happy mustconform; there is a big step to be taken to arrive at the belief in universal lovebut the ground is all prepared to receive the seed. A good nudge, a tap of loveand he is ours, or if it is not he it will be several of his followers of both sexes.Once after hearing him I felt the wish and strength to destroy in a fewwords all his little logic with my love. I wanted to talk to him. He doesn'tspeak French and I was then too weak in English. They pointed out to me oneof his students who speaks French but she was not a friend of Mr. Owen. Imade some impression on her mind.Why have I not done more up to now?Oh my dear father, all that I told you about myself explains it. Yourstrength, your knowledge, your love did not sustain me - I was alone. But hopeI never lose even in connection with the Owenists, even for the little time I will