THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12 The ...

150 THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12
BELOVED MASTER, WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT AND SCARY TO SHOW YOUR FEELINGS AND JUST
TO BE YOURSELF?
Prem Deven, it is difficult to show your feelings and just to be yourself because for thousands of years you have
been told to repress your feelings. It has become part of your collective unconscious. For thousands of years you
have been told not to be yourself. Be Jesus, be Buddha, be Krishna, but never be yourself. Be somebody else.
Down the ages you have been taught so continuously, so persistently that it has gone into your blood, into your
bones, into your very marrow.
A deep self-rejection has become part of you. All the priests have been condemning you. They have been telling
you you are sinners, you are born in sin. Your only hope is that Jesus can save you, or Krishna can save you,
but there is no hope as far as you are concerned you cannot save yourself, somebody else will save you. You are
doomed, you can only pray to Jesus, to Krishna, to save you. As far as you are concerned you are just worthless,
you are just dust and nothing more. You have no value, you have been reduced to ugly things, to disgusting
beings. It is because of this, Deven, that one finds it very difficult and scary to show one’s true feelings. You have
been taught to be hypocrites.
Hypocrisy pays, and whatsoever pays seems to be valuable. They say honesty is the best policy but remember,
the best policy. Even honesty has become only a policy because it pays. If it does not pay, then? then dishonesty
is the best policy. The whole thing depends on what works, what pays, what makes you richer, more respectable,
what makes you more comfortable, more safe, more secure, what gives you more nourishment for the ego that’s
the best policy. It may be honesty, it may be dishonesty... whatsoever it is, use it as a means; it is not an end.
Religion also has become a good policy. It is a kind of insurance for the other world. You are preparing by
being virtuous, by going to the church, by donating to the poor, for the other world. You are opening a bank
account in paradise, so when you go there you will be received with great joy, angels shouting ”Alleluia!”, dancing,
playing on their harps. How big a bank account you have there will depend on how many virtuous deeds you have
done.
Religion too has become business, and your reality is repressed. And the repressed people have been respected
so much. You call them saints; they are really schizophrenic. They should be treated, they need therapy and
you worship them. Out of your hundred saints, even if one turns out to be a real saint that will be a miracle.
Ninety-nine are just hocus-pocus, pretenders, deceivers. And I am not saying they are deceiving you... they are
deceiving themselves too. They are repressed people.
I have known many mahatmas in this country, respected by the masses like anything. I have been very intimate
with these people, and in their privacy they have opened their hearts to me. They are more ugly than you will
find the ordinary people.
I used to visit prisoners, to teach them how to meditate, and my observation was.... I was surprised in the
beginning that prisoners even those who have been sentenced for their whole lives are far more innocent than
your saints, are far better people than your saints, far simpler, far more innocent. Your saints are cunning, clever,
and your saints have only one quality: that they are able to repress themselves. They go on repressing. Then
naturally, they become split. Then they have two kinds of lives: one that they live at the front door, and the
other that they live at the back door; one that they live as a showpiece, and the other the real one that they
don’t show to anybody. They are afraid even to see it themselves.
And that’s the case with you too, on a smaller scale, of course, because, Deven, you are not a saint. Your
illness is not yet incurable, it can be cured. It is not yet so acute, it is not yet chronic. Your illness is just like the
common cold: it can disappear easily.
But everybody is influenced by these so-called saints, who are really insane people. They are repressed so much
they have repressed their sex, they have repressed their greed, they have repressed their anger and they are
boiling within themselves. Their inner life is very nightmarish. There is no peace, no silence. All their smiles are
painted.
I have heard of a beautiful woman who came from the West in search of peace. She went to the Himalayas.
She had heard about a great saint who used to live in the caves. It was hard to reach to those caves, but you
know Americans: the harder a thing is, the more they become interested; it becomes a challenge.
So the American lady reached to that peak where the saint lived. He had lived there for thirty years absolutely
alone. Not a single human being had visited him all this time, because Indians are very lazy; they don’t bother
to go that far. They have managed in a different way: every twelve years they gather in Allahabad and all the
saints from all the caves come down so they can have all the saints together. They don’t bother much to go to
the Himalayas. Those who want to be worshipped come on their own.