THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12 The ...

54 THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12
Friendliness is one of the most significant qualities for the seeker to develop; it is really sweet. It makes your
whole life full of sweet music, full of sweet harmony. In Buddha’s vision it is higher than so-called love. Your
so-called love is tethered to your biology; friendliness is freedom from biology. The ordinary so-called love is the
same in human beings as it is in animals, as it is in the trees. It is sex-oriented. It is only a sugarcoating around
the bitter pill of sex. In fact, if love is taken away from your sex, sex will look very ridiculous. It is because of the
sugarcoating that you can swallow the pill.
Watch animals having sexual intercourse and one thing you are bound to observe; it is impossible not to observe
it, it is so emphatically there: they don’t seem to be joyous. They seem to be in a hurry and their faces look sad,
as if they are being forced by some unknown energy into certain acts in which they are not interested. Hence
animals have their sexual seasons when their biology takes a grip on them, forces them to do something which
they are not really interested in at all. They have to do it almost like slaves. And once they are finished with
their sexual intercourse they move away from each other not even a thank-you! They don’t look at each other.
Scientists say love has grown in man for the simple reason that man is the only animal in the world who makes
sexual intercourse face-to-face. You have to say something, you have to smile, you have to say good-bye, you have
to say so long. Otherwise it will look so awkward to finish suddenly and escape! Because you are facing each
other you have to be a little polite, a little cultured, a little polished. You have to behave in a certain manner;
you can’t be rude.
Animals are not facing each other while making love so they don’t encounter, they don’t look into each other’s
eyes. It is a simple biological process and they are almost forced by their biology, by their hormones, to go through
it. They go through it, they are dragged through it like slaves. And the same is the situation with you; only the
sugarcoating is different.
Friendship is a higher phenomenon. It is pure love; it has nothing to do with your biology. Love ordinary
love can be explained through biology, but friendship cannot be explained. It is a mystery. Friendship is like
fragrance; love is gross, because of its sexuality, because of its origins. It is a little heavy. It functions under the
law of gravitation: it goes on falling downwards, it has no wings. Friendship has wings. It is nonbiological; it
makes you really human, it helps you to transcend your animality.
Buddha praises friendship, friendliness, very highly. He has even chosen that when he comes back again his
name will be Maitreya the friend. He must have loved the word very much. I don’t think he will come again
or anybody ever comes again. God never makes the same mistake again, remember! Once is more than enough,
twice will be too much. But he must have loved the word so much that he says, ”Next time, if I am at all going
to come, my name is going to be Maitreya the friend.” The word contains his whole philosophy.
He says: TO HAVE FRIENDS... IS SWEET.
Why is it sweet? because with friends your relationship is not physiological, it is not even psychological; it is
a spiritual communion. With friends you can sit in silence. When you are with your lover you can’t sit in silence;
silence looks awkward. The woman will think, ”Why are you silent? Are you angry or something?” And if she is
silent you will think something is wrong she is sulking. Why is she so silent? Silence becomes heavy, a burden;
it has to be removed.
So people go on talking, whether it is needed or not. They go on talking about anything.
Mulla Nasruddin was coming from his village to see me in his bullock cart, with his dog. It was too hot, a
summer afternoon, and suddenly he was surprised that the dog said, ”It is too hot.”
He looked around; there was nobody, just his dog. He said to the oxen, ”Have you heard? Have you heard
what has happened?”
And the oxen said, ”Yes, he is just like anybody else always talking about the weather and doing nothing.”
If people have nothing else to talk about they talk about the weather. Anything will do, just go on talking. It
keeps you, in a way, connected. In fact, it keeps you disconnected. It is not a bridge; rarely it is a bridge. It is
a bridge only between a master and a disciple; otherwise it is not a bridge. When the master speaks out of his
silence and the disciple listens out of his silence, it is a bridge. Otherwise it is a wall, a China Wall.
Lovers are facing each other. They have to say something; otherwise silence becomes awkward, embarrassing.
Friends don’t face each other in that way. They face something else maybe the sunset, a bird on the wing, a
beautiful white cloud. Holding hands, sitting together, they face something else. They both are facing something
else. They are in a sort of deep communion, they are one. Their hearts are beating in harmony. Real friends
sitting together will find that their hearts start beating in the same way. They even start breathing in harmony;
when one exhales, the other exhales. This happens on its own accord; it is a synchronicity. When you are feeling
in communion, this happens.
This happens here every day. When you are in communion with me it happens.