THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12 The ...
THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12 The ...
THE DHAMMAPADA: THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA, VOL. 9-12 The ...
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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>DHAMMAPADA</strong>: <strong>THE</strong> <strong>WAY</strong> <strong>OF</strong> <strong>THE</strong> <strong>BUDDHA</strong>, <strong>VOL</strong>. 9-<strong>12</strong> 235<br />
<strong>The</strong> seventh question:<br />
Question 7<br />
BELOVED MASTER, IT IS TERRIBLE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ITALIANS. TRUE, <strong>OF</strong> COURSE, BUT<br />
TERRIBLE.<br />
Adi, I know it is terrible, but what can I do? I love the Italians and I want to talk about them as much as<br />
I can. <strong>The</strong>y are beautiful people. I hit only when I love. You should be worried about those whom I am not<br />
hitting. For example, I have not yet hit the Dutch. I am waiting when I have gathered enough love for them I<br />
am going to hit them too! It is my way of showing love and showering love.<br />
Why don’t Italians believe in reincarnation?<br />
Well, look at it this way: who would want to come back to life as an Italian?<br />
A woman with a baby in her arms was sitting in the waiting room at a railway station in Italy, sobbing bitterly.<br />
Up came a porter and asked her what the trouble was.<br />
”Oh, dear me,” she cried, ”some people were in here and they were so rude to me about my son. I’m all upset<br />
they said he was so ugly!”<br />
”<strong>The</strong>re, there now, luv,” said the porter soothingly. ”Don’t worry about it. I tell you what how about a nice<br />
cup of tea?”<br />
”You are very kind,” she said, wiping her eyes. ”That would be very nice.”<br />
”And while I’m at it,” he said, ”how about a banana for your monkey?”<br />
An Italian with a one foot high man sitting on his shoulder walked into a bar and ordered a scotch and soda.<br />
<strong>The</strong> barman was stunned but delivered the drink as ordered. Just as the fellow was about to drink it, the little<br />
man knocked it out of his hand. He ordered another one, and again the little man knocked the drink onto the<br />
floor. This scene was repeated three times.<br />
Finally, the bartender could stand it no longer. ”What’s going on here?” he asked.<br />
”It is a long story,” the Italian said, ”but many years ago I was in Egypt and found a magic lamp. I rubbed it<br />
and a genie offered me three wishes. First I wished for ten million dollars. <strong>The</strong>n I wished for everlasting life.”<br />
”Sounds great,” said the bartender. ”What was your third wish?”<br />
”I wished for a prick twelve inches long.”<br />
Get it? Remember if you come across a genie some time, never ask for the third wish. Look in the dictionary<br />
to find out the real meaning of ”prick.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> last question:<br />
Question 8<br />
BELOVED MASTER, I FEEL SHOCKED WHEN YOU USE <strong>THE</strong> WORD ’FUCK’. WHAT TO DO?<br />
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words. <strong>The</strong> English language should be proud of it. I don’t think any<br />
other language has such a beautiful word.<br />
One Tom from California has done some great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick<br />
and Harry fame.<br />
He says:<br />
One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word ’fuck’. It is one magical word: just<br />
by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories.<br />
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as<br />
a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see there are<br />
not many words with the versatility of ’fuck’.<br />
Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:<br />
Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.<br />
Ignorance: Fucked if I know.<br />
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!<br />
Aggression: Fuck you!<br />
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?<br />
Difficulty: I can’t understand this fucking job.<br />
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.<br />
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?<br />
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.<br />
Request: Get the fuck out of here!<br />
Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!<br />
Greeting: How the fuck are you?