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To Be is to Relate
Margaretha Ringström 1
The statement cogito, ergo sum, which means, “I think, therefore I am”, is a wellknown
quotation by the 17th century French philosopher Renée Descartes.
This might be an important insight, but to me the statement “to be is to
relate”, whose originator I do not know, is an even more important truth.
Because I relate I know that I exist. A human being cannot exist in a vacuum.
Only in relation to another human being do I become real.
For every human relationship dialogue is essential. According to the dictionary
dialogue means to bring about an exchange of views. It is not to inform
about views, but exchange views, which needs mutuality and sharing.
Dialogue is supposed to be an essential component in development cooperation
and of course it is. Not only as a means of communication between
donors and recipients, that too often takes the form of information,
but within and among all the different actors involved in one way or another.
We should not think that dialogue is an easy thing. It demands a lot of
honesty and openness from those involved. And it could be risky because
you never know if your dialogue partner is prepared to open up even if you
yourself are. Especially in relationships that are asymmetric because one party
has the money and the other needs that money you often encounter problems.
I have many, many experiences of such situations and it takes a lot of
time to get behind politeness, lip service or the humiliating feeling of dependency
that so often characterizes the ‘receiving’ partner in an aid or
development relationship. It is always time consuming to reach the level of
a true dialogue and I am convinced that most of the situations we would
label dialogue situations never reach that stage. They are rather monologues.
Many contacts and relationships have been established between the north
and the south. The question is how many of those relationships are unprejudiced
and how many show a genuine respect for each other’s uniqueness
and human dignity?
1 Margaretha Ringström (Sweden) studied Theology and Philosophy with special emphasis on
Ethics during the 60s. She has worked for 30 years for the Swedish church with issues of justice and
development; as General Secretary of the Development Forum, as Research Secretary of the
Church of Sweden Mission and from 1989 to 1997 as Executive Director of the Church of Sweden
Aid (Lutherhjälpen). She has had many assignments in the World Council of Churches and the
Lutheran World Federation and has been an elected representative on the board of Sida. She was an
expert in the Parliamentary Commission on Swedish Policy for Global Development (Globkom)
and is a member of the Policy Group on Global Food Security, appointed by the Ministry of
Agriculture.