EQUALITY GUIdE - KU Leuven

184 Equality Guide
not correspond to what we expect from a person in authority.
This does not come as a surprise if we compare the language that is associated with
femininity and masculinity. The table in the Appendices (table 4.1) shows that what is
considered as feminine language is quickly felt as inferior. Or in other words: “use of
masculine language can give more power to what you say” 218 . Therefore, the problem
is not the difference between women and men but the unequal value that is allotted to
femininity and masculinity.
Women speak more often in terms of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’, concealing their own successes
and performances. Furthermore, women tend to want to keep harmony in a conversation
and to take into account the impact of one’s own words on the other person. As a
result, many women in a leadership position rather conceal than emphasize the power
of their position.
Men and women think they speak the same language but frequently the meaning they
give to the same words is totally different. Men use communication to transmit content
and information. For women, communication serves other aims too: it is a means to
solve problems, to reduce stress, to create emotional links, to stimulate creativity and
develop new ideas 219 . Men communicate in a result-oriented way in which efficiency
and competence have the highest priority. Being open and showing (negative) feelings
is experienced as being weak, incompetent and unprofessional. For women, emotions
are meaningful and are expressed in order to understand themselves better. Once negative
feelings are heard, they quickly disappear 220 .
This very short explanation shows that misunderstandings are inevitable. In addition,
because there are mainly men at the top at universities, it is not always obvious for
women to find appreciation for their communication style.
Moreover, many studies have shown that men speak longer; more often interrupt and
more often take the floor than women do 221 . “These things also happen during conversations
with people of equal rank and equal qualifications, even when women are in
the majority.” 222 At meetings, for example, men frequently use subtle strategies to
shorten the speaking time of women, so they can speak longer themselves or a man
repeats in the middle of a heated discussion what was previously introduced by a
woman. What the other participants of the conversation first ignored then suddenly
gets the full attention of the group 223 . It is therefore difficult for women to get support
for their ideas. Tannen says that this does not mean that women cannot be heard, but
218 http://www.iiav.nl/epublications/2002/genderboekje.pdf, op. cit., p. 10.
219 Van der Auweraert, A. (2004). Wetenschappers moeten leren communiceren in mensentaal.
http://taalschrift.org/discussie/000512.html, 23/04/04.
220 Gray, J. (2002). Mars en Venus op het werk. Utrecht/Antwerpen: Het Spectrum, 295 blz.
221 Tannen, D., (1994), op. cit., p. 257.
222 Ehrhardt, U. (2000), op. cit., p. 75.
223 http://www.iiav.nl/epublications/2002/genderboekje.pdf.