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35053668-Empire-of-the-Soul-Paul-William-Roberts

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‘NO LIKE A-FEESH?’<br />

Big Mamma Maxwell – Empress <strong>of</strong> Allegory – spent most <strong>of</strong> her<br />

pr<strong>of</strong>essional career playing in bro<strong>the</strong>ls, surprisingly enough. If Freight<br />

Train’s lead singer knew this – and didn’t think <strong>the</strong> song was a musical<br />

recipe – <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong>re must be more to this place. I hoped. Indian youths<br />

listened politely, but occasionally whispered among <strong>the</strong>mselves and<br />

pointed indiscreetly toward <strong>the</strong> far shadows. The hidjra trotted<br />

around, <strong>the</strong> ever-present cigarette keeping time to <strong>the</strong> rhythm. An<br />

immensely fat man, wearing many rings and a gold watch <strong>the</strong> size <strong>of</strong><br />

a leg iron, rolled out <strong>of</strong> those far shadows, squatting on a stool that<br />

seemed like a golf tee beneath him, by a table right next to <strong>the</strong> stage.<br />

And <strong>the</strong> band played on: ‘Uh know yuh wan’ me t-eat hot dog, baby,<br />

Uh know thass jussa thing yuh wanna see me do, woh-aye knowzya<br />

like muh lips chewiri hot dog, yuh, Ah givza a mighty big plezza to<br />

you, yah! An’ ah’ll eat some hot dog real soon, baby, if yuh juss keep<br />

that big ole spoon in mah stew.’<br />

Freight Train lurched through some Tony Bennett next, <strong>the</strong>n<br />

presented a gnashing hurricane <strong>of</strong> noise with someone like Elvis<br />

Costello crying out from <strong>the</strong> eye <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> storm.<br />

I was about to leave when <strong>the</strong> band abruptly stopped, moving <strong>the</strong>ir<br />

mikes and wires back to clear <strong>the</strong> stage. The hidjra stepped up, grabbed<br />

a hand-held mike and said, ‘Yeah, darlings! Freight Train! Thank you<br />

Bunny, Krish and Vijay-<strong>the</strong>-Lay!’ She prompted a solid round <strong>of</strong><br />

businesslike applause, announcing as it died, ‘And now to dance just<br />

for you all here, <strong>the</strong> very beautiful Dimple!’<br />

Not even visible, ‘Dimple’ received a standing ovation. It carried<br />

on for at least a minute, with <strong>the</strong> hidjra squinting angrily into <strong>the</strong><br />

gloom at <strong>the</strong> far end, <strong>the</strong>n gesticulating with an arm that probably<br />

threw a mean punch when it had to.<br />

Soon a thud <strong>of</strong> feet announced Dimple’s entrance. With a graceless<br />

bound, she landed unsteadily centre stage. The hidjra whispered<br />

something in her ear, <strong>the</strong>n pinched her upper arm so hard that a large<br />

bruise had formed by <strong>the</strong> end <strong>of</strong> Dimple’s act.<br />

Dimple was around four feet tall, a yard or so wide, with a face<br />

barely humanoid in form, large quantities <strong>of</strong> not-so-vestigial simian<br />

hair still visible as sideburns and a moustache. Her human hair had<br />

been forcibly restrained somewhere behind her bulging cranium<br />

and tied. She wore <strong>the</strong> kind <strong>of</strong> frock you see at chimps’ tea parties –<br />

357

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