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35053668-Empire-of-the-Soul-Paul-William-Roberts

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358<br />

EMPIRE OF THE SOUL<br />

gnawed sequins, much cheap, nettinglike gauze, and <strong>the</strong> kind <strong>of</strong><br />

satin that would be just about acceptable as c<strong>of</strong>fin liner. Everything<br />

was in a bilious and syn<strong>the</strong>tic green.<br />

Amps humbled considerably, Freight Train, now lurking in <strong>the</strong><br />

tenebrous void behind <strong>the</strong>ir equipment, struck up something fairly<br />

approximating a bossa nova. Dimple began to flop around, as if<br />

striving to shake loose some object lodged down <strong>the</strong> back <strong>of</strong> her<br />

dress. Her legs were controlled by circuits unconnected to anything<br />

above what, on ano<strong>the</strong>r, would have been a waist. This risible<br />

spectacle continued through <strong>the</strong> first number. As <strong>the</strong> band headed<br />

<strong>of</strong>f into curried salsa, Dimple unceremoniously tore open <strong>the</strong> Velcro<br />

fasteners that held her party frock in place, revealing a bikini<br />

produced by <strong>the</strong> same green conspiracy. The bottom was a good<br />

two feet from crotch to waistband, made <strong>of</strong> material as thick as a<br />

horse blanket. The top extended from collarbone to sternum, and<br />

looked like a nun’s brassiere from <strong>the</strong> 1940s.<br />

It was immediately apparent why her legs refused to cooperate:<br />

<strong>the</strong>y ended at her knees. Above that was really just one mighty thigh,<br />

with a vague dent down <strong>the</strong> centre to suggest it might once have<br />

been twins.<br />

The crowd loved her. The Indian youths were leaning in rapt<br />

attention, hands thrust into trouser pockets, mouths open, eyes<br />

locked on Dimple’s every lumbering move.<br />

I felt like shouting Put it on! Put it on! because I hoped she wasn’t<br />

planning to take it <strong>of</strong>f.<br />

As this dancing tragedy proceeded, I noticed much coming and<br />

going through a door at <strong>the</strong> far end, now visible thanks to Dimple’s<br />

extra lighting requirements. I edged down <strong>the</strong> room to see better. A<br />

couple <strong>of</strong> archetypical Indian big shots emerged from that door.<br />

Both four-hundred-pounders, with long sideburns like straps<br />

holding on <strong>the</strong> slippery quiffs <strong>of</strong> oiled hair decorating <strong>the</strong>ir small<br />

skulls, <strong>the</strong>y wore silk kurtas, many chains and rings, and polyester<br />

trousers fashionably flared above white patent lea<strong>the</strong>r Gucci-style<br />

loafers. I can guarantee <strong>the</strong>y smoked Dunhills and drank Black<br />

Label.<br />

Emerging from a torrent <strong>of</strong> Tamil, one said in English to <strong>the</strong><br />

o<strong>the</strong>r, ‘I am preferring one with <strong>the</strong> big titty.’

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