35053668-Empire-of-the-Soul-Paul-William-Roberts

EMPIRE OF THE SOUL
whatever was handy. I realised that the image of God I’d chosen,
besides his formless, nondualistic eternal oneness, was that of Sathya
Sai Baba. He’d stood the test of time.
But the idea of seeing the reality, rather than the idea and the
image, filled me with trepidation, even with dread. I knew I was
drinking heavily – too heavily – and finding reasons not to go. But
now I was on my way.
We drove from the West End Hotel at 3:30 a.m. I estimated that
would get me there around eleven – generally in time for morning
darshan – if things were still the same. The driver I’d chosen was
someone I knew to be untalkative.
Memories of driving out with Abdul and Joy came back, but I
just couldn’t relate this me to that me. We were different people. I’d
been a mere child then.
I wondered who I was kidding while I tried to snooze. This might
be the most important day I would have for years, maybe ever. Because
part of me wanted to exorcise Baba forever, or satisfy itself concerning
his reality enough to make a serious commitment. Make or break:
that was the attitude I took – along with a warehouseful of other
mental baggage, of course.
Hovering up above the parched plains of Andhra Pradesh, the
bloody sun sat like a mothership bearing galactic emperors to an
appointment at the end of the world. The sudden, awesome beauty
of this spectacle felt like a punch to the heart. We hurtled through
the primeval landscape, which was palely illuminated by an alien
star fat and heavy with burning blood. I felt like the first man, or the
last one. Slipping on headphones, I started listening to Ravi Shankar’s
Shanti-Dhwani where I’d left off after buying it the day before.
Dedicated to Indira Gandhi – its sole shortcoming – it is a
shimmering masterpiece, transcending musical definition.
That dawn, however, I felt the hairs on my neck stand up as,
instead of Ravi’s orchestral sitar assembly, I heard the chanting of
Sanskrit mantras, one of them the sole piece of Vedic wisdom I can
still quote with the proper intonation: the Gayathri. It is the supreme
and most profound plea to the Lord of this universe that humanity
has ever uttered:
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