(Bk Business) Carol Kinsey Goman Ph.D.-The Nonverbal Advantage_ Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work -Berrett-Koehler Publishers (2008)

C H A P T E R
10
Selling Your Message
without Saying a Word
I WAS TOLD THAT PAUL, the senior manager I had been
asked to coach, was a poor communicator. After watching
him at a leadership conference, I was in total agreement. It
wasn’t what Paul said. His words were carefully chosen and
well rehearsed. It was his nonverbal language. Mechanical in
all his gestures, Paul’s body was screaming: “I’m uncomfortable
and unconvinced about everything I’m telling you!”
Then there was the matter of timing. If a person’s gestures
are produced before or as the words come out, he
appears open and candid. If he speaks first and then gestures,
however, as Paul did, it’s perceived as a contrived movement.
And at that point, the validity of whatever is said comes
under suspicion.
The question: Could I help?
The answer: Not much.
Oh sure, I could find ways to make Paul’s movements less
wooden and his timing more fluid, but what he really needed
was genuine passion!
I’ve learned a lot of things as a therapist, speaker, and
coach. Most of all I’ve learned that the foundation of effective
body language has to be honesty. If you don’t believe the
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