Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 118 — CHAPTER XII. Henry VIII. and Anne Boleyn. — Disadvantages of liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> same house with pair of lovers. — A try<strong>in</strong>g time for the English nation. — A night search for the picturesque. — Homeless and houseless. — Harris prepares to die. — An angel comes along. — Effect of sudden joy on Harris. — A little supper. — Lunch. — High price for mustard. — A fearful battle. — Maidenhead. — Sail<strong>in</strong>g. — <strong>Three</strong> fishers. — We are cursed. I WAS sitt<strong>in</strong>g on the bank, conjur<strong>in</strong>g up this scene to myself, when George remarked that when I was quite rested, perhaps I would not m<strong>in</strong>d help<strong>in</strong>g to wash up; and, thus recalled from the days of the glorious past to the prosaic present, with all its misery and s<strong>in</strong>, I slid down <strong>in</strong>to the boat and cleaned out the fry<strong>in</strong>g-pan with a stick of wood and a tuft of grass, polish<strong>in</strong>g it up f<strong>in</strong>ally with George’s wet shirt. We went over to Magna Charta Island, and had a look at the stone which stands <strong>in</strong> the cottage there and on which the great Charter is said to have been signed; though, as to whether it really was signed there, or, as some say, on the other bank at “Runn<strong>in</strong>gmede,” I decl<strong>in</strong>e to commit myself. As far as my own personal op<strong>in</strong>ion goes, however, I am <strong>in</strong>cl<strong>in</strong>ed to give weight to the popular island theory. Certa<strong>in</strong>ly, had I been one of the Barons, at the time, I should have strongly urged upon my comrades the advisability of our gett<strong>in</strong>g such a slippery customer as K<strong>in</strong>g John on to the island, where there was less chance of surprises and tricks. There are the ru<strong>in</strong>s of an old priory <strong>in</strong> the grounds of Ankerwyke House, which is close to Picnic Po<strong>in</strong>t, and it was round about the grounds of this old priory that Henry VIII. is said to have waited for and met Anne Boleyn. He also used to meet her at Hever Castle <strong>in</strong> Kent, and also somewhere near St. Albans. It must have been difficult for the people of England <strong>in</strong> those days to have found a spot where these thoughtless young folk were not spoon<strong>in</strong>g. Have you ever been <strong>in</strong> a house where there are a couple court<strong>in</strong>g? It is most try<strong>in</strong>g. You th<strong>in</strong>k you will go and sit <strong>in</strong> the
— 119 — draw<strong>in</strong>g-room, and you march off there. As you open the door, you hear a noise as if somebody had suddenly recollected someth<strong>in</strong>g, and, when you get <strong>in</strong>, Emily is over by the w<strong>in</strong>dow, full of <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> the opposite side of the road, and your friend, John Edward, is at the other end of the room with his whole soul held <strong>in</strong> thrall by photographs of other people’s relatives. “Oh!” you say, paus<strong>in</strong>g at the door, “I didn’t know anybody was here.” “Oh! didn’t you?” says Emily, coldly, <strong>in</strong> a tone which implies that she does not believe you. You hang about for a bit, then you say: “It’s very dark. Why don’t you light the gas?” John Edward says, “Oh!” he hadn’t noticed it; and Emily says that papa does not like the gas lit <strong>in</strong> the afternoon. You tell them one or two items of news, and give them your views and op<strong>in</strong>ions on the Irish question; but this does not appear to <strong>in</strong>terest them. All they remark on any subject is, “Oh!” “Is it?” “Did he?” “Yes,” and “You don’t say so!” And, after ten m<strong>in</strong>utes of such style of conversation, you edge up to the door, and slip out, and are surprised to f<strong>in</strong>d that the door immediately closes beh<strong>in</strong>d you, and shuts itself, without your hav<strong>in</strong>g touched it. Half an hour later, you th<strong>in</strong>k you will try a pipe <strong>in</strong> the conservatory. The only chair <strong>in</strong> the place is occupied by Emily; and John Edward, if the language of clothes can be relied upon, has evidently been sitt<strong>in</strong>g on the floor. They do not speak, but they give you a look that says all that can be said <strong>in</strong> a civilised community; and you back out promptly and shut the door beh<strong>in</strong>d you. You are afraid to poke your nose <strong>in</strong>to any room <strong>in</strong> the house now; so, after walk<strong>in</strong>g up and down the stairs for a while, you go and sit <strong>in</strong> your own bedroom. This becomes un<strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g, however, after a time, and so you put on your hat and stroll out <strong>in</strong>to the garden. You walk down the path, and as you pass the summer-house you glance <strong>in</strong>, and there are those two young idiots, huddled up <strong>in</strong>to one corner of it; and they see you, and
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
Page 67 and 68: — 67 — worn in
Page 69 and 70: — 69 — down on your — I mean
Page 71 and 72: — 71 — about, makin</st
Page 73 and 74: — 73 — of the river, and was ev
Page 75 and 76: — 75 — by slouchin</str
Page 77 and 78: — 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80: — 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
Page 81 and 82: — 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84: — 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86: — 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
Page 87 and 88: — 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
Page 89 and 90: — 89 — or his hat has dropped <
Page 91 and 92: — 91 — did it, and the boat rus
Page 93 and 94: — 93 — twenty min</stro
Page 95 and 96: — 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98: — 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
Page 99 and 100: — 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102: — 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104: — 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106: — 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108: — 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110: — 109 — George listened, and a
Page 111 and 112: — 111 — ing ba
Page 113 and 114: — 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116: — 115 — and there false John’
Page 117: — 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 121 and 122: — 121 — King
Page 123 and 124: — 123 — But Harris, who is an o
Page 125 and 126: — 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128: — 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130: — 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132: — 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134: — 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136: — 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138: — 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140: — 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142: — 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144: — 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146: — 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148: — 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150: — 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152: — 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154: — 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156: — 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158: — 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160: — 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161 and 162: — 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164: — 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168: — 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172:
— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184:
— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188:
— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
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— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
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— 193 — George took the fun mor
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— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
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— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
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— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
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— 218 — Do you thin</st
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— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
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— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265:
— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317:
— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321:
— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327:
— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329:
— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339:
— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345:
— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349:
— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351:
— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359:
— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365:
— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371:
— 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373:
— 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375:
— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383:
— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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