Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate bus<strong>in</strong>ess — What Ethelbertha might have said — What she did say — What Mrs. Harris said — What we told George — We will start on Wednesday — George suggests the possibility of improv<strong>in</strong>g our m<strong>in</strong>ds — Harris and I are doubtful — Which man on a tandem does the most work? — The op<strong>in</strong>ion of the man <strong>in</strong> front — Views of the man beh<strong>in</strong>d — How Harris lost his wife — The luggage question — The wisdom of my late Uncle Podger — Beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g of story about a man who had a bag. I OPENED the ball with Ethelbertha that same even<strong>in</strong>g. I commenced by be<strong>in</strong>g purposely a little irritable. My idea was that Ethelbertha would remark upon this. I should admit it, and account for it by over bra<strong>in</strong> pressure. This would naturally lead to talk about my health <strong>in</strong> general, and the evident necessity there was for my tak<strong>in</strong>g prompt and vigorous measures. I thought that with a little tact I might even manage so that the suggestion should come from Ethelbertha herself. I imag<strong>in</strong>ed her say<strong>in</strong>g: “No, dear, it is change you want; complete change. Now be persuaded by me, and go away for a month. No, do not ask me to come with you. I know you would rather that I did, but I will not. It is the society of other men you need. Try and persuade George and Harris to go with you. Believe me, a highly strung bra<strong>in</strong> such as yours demands occasional relaxation from the stra<strong>in</strong> of domestic surround<strong>in</strong>gs. Forget for a little while that children want music lessons, and boots, and bicycles, with t<strong>in</strong>cture of rhubarb three times a day; forget there are such th<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> life as cooks, and house decorators, and next-door dogs, and butchers’ bills. Go away to some green corner of the earth, where all is new and strange to you, where your over-wrought m<strong>in</strong>d will gather peace and fresh ideas. Go away for a space and give me time to miss you, and to reflect upon your goodness and virtue, which, cont<strong>in</strong>ually present with me, I may, human-like, be apt to forget, as one, through use, grows <strong>in</strong>different to the bless<strong>in</strong>g of the sun and the beauty of the moon. Go away, and come back refreshed <strong>in</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d and
— 215 — body, a brighter, better man — if that be possible — than when you went away.” But even when we obta<strong>in</strong> our desires they never come to us garbed as we would wish. To beg<strong>in</strong> with, Ethelbertha did not seem to remark that I was irritable; I had to draw her attention to it. I said: “You must forgive me, I’m not feel<strong>in</strong>g quite myself tonight.” She said: “Oh! I have not noticed anyth<strong>in</strong>g different; what’s the matter with you?” “I can’t tell you what it is,” I said; “I’ve felt it com<strong>in</strong>g on for weeks.” “It’s that whisky,” said Ethelbertha. “You never touch it except when we go to the Harris’s. You know you can’t stand it; you have not a strong head.” “It isn’t the whisky,” I replied; “it’s deeper than that. I fancy it’s more mental than bodily.” “You’ve been read<strong>in</strong>g those criticisms aga<strong>in</strong>,” said Ethelbertha, more sympathetically; “why don’t you take my advice and put them on the fire?” “And it isn’t the criticisms,” I answered; “they’ve been quite flatter<strong>in</strong>g of late — one or two of them.” “Well, what is it?” said Ethelbertha; “there must be someth<strong>in</strong>g to account for it.” “No, there isn’t,” I replied; “that’s the remarkable th<strong>in</strong>g about it; I can only describe it as a strange feel<strong>in</strong>g of unrest that seems to have taken possession of me.” Ethelbertha glanced across at me with a somewhat curious expression, I thought; but as she said noth<strong>in</strong>g, I cont<strong>in</strong>ued the argument myself. “This ach<strong>in</strong>g monotony of life, these days of peaceful, uneventful felicity, they appal one.” “I should not grumble at them,” said Ethelbertha; “we might get some of the other sort, and like them still less.” “I’m not so sure of that,” I replied. “In a life of cont<strong>in</strong>uous joy, I can imag<strong>in</strong>e even pa<strong>in</strong> com<strong>in</strong>g as a welcome variation.
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
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— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
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— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
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— 103 — “What’s the matter,
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— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
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— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
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— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
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— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
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— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
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— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
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— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164: — 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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Page 169 and 170: — 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172: — 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174: — 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176: — 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178: — 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180: — 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182: — 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
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Page 208 and 209: — 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211: — 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213: — 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 216 and 217: — 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219: — 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221: — 220 — “She’s goin
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Page 224 and 225: — 224 — In this way he sped mer
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Page 234 and 235: — 234 — It was the first th<str
Page 236 and 237: — 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239: — 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241: — 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243: — 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245: — 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247: — 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249: — 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251: — 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253: — 252 — Taking
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Page 256 and 257: — 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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Page 260 and 261: — 260 — We gave them hi
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— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
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— 268 — “Because the sun coul
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— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
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— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
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— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
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— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
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— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
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— 294 — “‘I have said it th
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— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
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— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
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— 306 — He stood there with his
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— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
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— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
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— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
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— 330 — contin
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— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
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— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
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— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
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— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
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— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
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— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
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— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
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— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
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— 386 — Possibly, he will have
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— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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