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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 175 —<br />

The Angler’s Guide to <strong>the</strong> Thames says that “jack and perch<br />

are also to be had about here,” but <strong>the</strong>re <strong>the</strong> Angler’s Guide is<br />

wr<strong>on</strong>g. Jack and perch may be about <strong>the</strong>re. Indeed, I know for<br />

a fact that <strong>the</strong>y are. You can see <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong>re <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> shoals, when you<br />

are out for a walk al<strong>on</strong>g <strong>the</strong> banks: <strong>the</strong>y come and stand half<br />

out of <strong>the</strong> water with <strong>the</strong>ir mouths open for biscuits. And, if<br />

you go for a ba<strong>the</strong>, <strong>the</strong>y crowd round, and get <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> your way, and<br />

irritate you. But <strong>the</strong>y are not to be “had” by a bit of worm <strong>on</strong><br />

<strong>the</strong> end of a hook, nor anyth<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g like it — not <strong>the</strong>y!<br />

I am not a good fisherman myself. I devoted a c<strong>on</strong>siderable<br />

amount of attenti<strong>on</strong> to <strong>the</strong> subject at <strong>on</strong>e time, and was gett<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g<br />

<strong>on</strong>, as I thought, fairly well; but <strong>the</strong> old hands told me that I<br />

should never be any real good at it, and advised me to give it<br />

up. They said that I was an extremely neat thrower, and that<br />

I seemed to have plenty of gumpti<strong>on</strong> for <strong>the</strong> th<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g, and quite<br />

enough c<strong>on</strong>stituti<strong>on</strong>al laz<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>ess. But <strong>the</strong>y were sure I should<br />

never make anyth<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient<br />

imag<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>ati<strong>on</strong>.<br />

They said that as a poet, or a shill<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g shocker, or a reporter,<br />

or anyth<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g of that k<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>d, I might be satisfactory, but that, to<br />

ga<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> any positi<strong>on</strong> as a Thames angler, would require more play<br />

of fancy, more power of <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>venti<strong>on</strong> than I appeared to possess.<br />

Some people are under <strong>the</strong> impressi<strong>on</strong> that all that is required<br />

to make a good fisherman is <strong>the</strong> ability to tell lies easily<br />

and without blush<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g; but this is a mistake. Mere bald fabricati<strong>on</strong><br />

is useless; <strong>the</strong> veriest tyro can manage that. It is <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> <strong>the</strong><br />

circumstantial detail, <strong>the</strong> embellish<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g touches of probability,<br />

<strong>the</strong> general air of scrupulous — almost of pedantic — veracity,<br />

that <strong>the</strong> experienced angler is seen.<br />

Anybody can come <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> and say, “Oh, I caught fifteen dozen<br />

perch yesterday even<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g;” or “Last M<strong>on</strong>day I landed a gudge<strong>on</strong>,<br />

weigh<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g eighteen pounds, and measur<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g three feet from<br />

<strong>the</strong> tip to <strong>the</strong> tail.”<br />

There is no art, no skill, required for that sort of th<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g. It<br />

shows pluck, but that is all.

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