Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 292 — some cushions for sale. The proper bus<strong>in</strong>ess of the shop was handl<strong>in</strong>g of glass and ch<strong>in</strong>a; the cushions appeared to be <strong>in</strong> the nature of an experiment. They were very beautiful cushions, hand-embroidered on sat<strong>in</strong>. We often passed the shop, and every time George paused and exam<strong>in</strong>ed those cushions. He said he thought his aunt would like one. George has been very attentive to this aunt of his dur<strong>in</strong>g the journey. He has written her quite a long letter every day, and from every town we stop at he sends her off a present. To my m<strong>in</strong>d, he is overdo<strong>in</strong>g the bus<strong>in</strong>ess, and more than once I have expostulated with him. His aunt will be meet<strong>in</strong>g other aunts, and talk<strong>in</strong>g to them; the whole class will become disorganised and unruly. As a nephew, I object to the impossible standard that George is sett<strong>in</strong>g up. But he will not listen. Therefore it was that on the Saturday he left us after lunch, say<strong>in</strong>g he would go round to that shop and get one of those cushions for his aunt. He said he would not be long, and suggested our wait<strong>in</strong>g for him. We waited for what seemed to me rather a long time. When he rejo<strong>in</strong>ed us he was empty handed, and looked worried. We asked him where his cushion was. He said he hadn’t got a cushion, said he had changed his m<strong>in</strong>d, said he didn’t th<strong>in</strong>k his aunt would care for a cushion. Evidently someth<strong>in</strong>g was amiss. We tried to get at the bottom of it, but he was not communicative. Indeed, his answers after our twentieth question or thereabouts became quite short. In the even<strong>in</strong>g, however, when he and I happened to be alone, he broached the subject himself. He said: “They are somewhat peculiar <strong>in</strong> some th<strong>in</strong>gs, these Germans.” I said: “What has happened?” “Well,” he answered, “there was that cushion I wanted.” “For your aunt,” I remarked. “Why not?” he returned. He was huffy <strong>in</strong> a moment; I never knew a man so touchy about an aunt. “Why shouldn’t I send a cushion to my aunt?”
— 293 — “Don’t get excited,” I replied. “I am not object<strong>in</strong>g; I respect you for it.” He recovered his temper, and went on: “There were four <strong>in</strong> the w<strong>in</strong>dow, if you remember, all very much alike, and each one labelled <strong>in</strong> pla<strong>in</strong> figures twenty marks. I don’t pretend to speak German fluently, but I can generally make myself understood with a little effort, and gather the sense of what is said to me, provided they don’t gabble. I went <strong>in</strong>to the shop. A young girl came up to me; she was a pretty, quiet little soul, one might almost say, demure; not at all the sort of girl from whom you would have expected such a th<strong>in</strong>g. I was never more surprised <strong>in</strong> all my life.” “Surprised about what?” I said. George always assumes you know the end of the story while he is tell<strong>in</strong>g you the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g; it is an annoy<strong>in</strong>g method. “At what happened,” replied George; “at what I am tell<strong>in</strong>g you. She smiled and asked me what I wanted. I understood that all right; there could have been no mistake about that. I put down a twenty mark piece on the counter and said: “‘Please give me a cushion.’” “She stared at me as if I had asked for a feather bed. I thought, maybe, she had not heard, so I repeated it louder. If I had chucked her under the ch<strong>in</strong> she could not have looked more surprised or <strong>in</strong>dignant. “She said she thought I must be mak<strong>in</strong>g a mistake. “I did not want to beg<strong>in</strong> a long conversation and f<strong>in</strong>d myself stranded. I said there was no mistake. I po<strong>in</strong>ted to my twenty mark piece, and repeated for the third time that I wanted a cushion, ‘a twenty mark cushion.’ “Another girl came up, an elder girl; and the first girl repeated to her what I had just said: she seemed quite excited about it. The second girl did not believe her — did not th<strong>in</strong>k I looked the sort of man who would want a cushion. To make sure, she put the question to me herself. “‘Did you say you wanted a cushion?’ she asked.
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142:
— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
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— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
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— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
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— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
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— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
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— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
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— 218 — Do you thin</st
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— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243: — 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245: — 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247: — 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249: — 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251: — 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253: — 252 — Taking
Page 254 and 255: — 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257: — 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
Page 258 and 259: — 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261: — 260 — We gave them hi
Page 262 and 263: — 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265: — 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267: — 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269: — 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271: — 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273: — 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275: — 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277: — 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279: — 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281: — 280 — among them proceeded to
Page 282 and 283: — 282 — sleigh — do not pract
Page 284 and 285: — 284 — he turned his attention
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Page 288 and 289: — 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291: — 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 294 and 295: — 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297: — 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299: — 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301: — 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303: — 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305: — 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307: — 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309: — 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311: — 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313: — 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315: — 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317: — 316 — horse was tired, and th
Page 318 and 319: — 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321: — 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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Page 324 and 325: — 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327: — 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329: — 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331: — 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333: — 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335: — 334 — idleness! How would you
Page 336 and 337: — 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339: — 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
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— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
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— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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