Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 162 — They said they were ready, and the boy on the land<strong>in</strong>g stage took a boat-hook and shoved him off. What then followed George is unable to describe <strong>in</strong> detail. He has a confused recollection of hav<strong>in</strong>g, immediately on start<strong>in</strong>g, received a violent blow <strong>in</strong> the small of the back from the butt-end of number five’s scull, at the same time that his own seat seemed to disappear from under him by magic, and leave him sitt<strong>in</strong>g on the boards. He also noticed, as a curious circumstance, that number two was at the same <strong>in</strong>stant ly<strong>in</strong>g on his back at the bottom of the boat, with his legs <strong>in</strong> the air, apparently <strong>in</strong> a fit. They passed under Kew Bridge, broadside, at the rate of eight miles an hour. Josk<strong>in</strong>s be<strong>in</strong>g the only one who was row<strong>in</strong>g. George, on recover<strong>in</strong>g his seat, tried to help him, but, on dipp<strong>in</strong>g his oar <strong>in</strong>to the water, it immediately, to his <strong>in</strong>tense surprise, disappeared under the boat, and nearly took him with it. And then “cox” threw both rudder l<strong>in</strong>es over-board, and burst <strong>in</strong>to tears. How they got back George never knew, but it took them just forty m<strong>in</strong>utes. A dense crowd watched the enterta<strong>in</strong>ment from Kew Bridge with much <strong>in</strong>terest, and everybody shouted out to them different directions. <strong>Three</strong> times they managed to get the boat back through the arch, and three times they were carried under it aga<strong>in</strong>, and every time “cox” looked up and saw the bridge above him he broke out <strong>in</strong>to renewed sobs. George said he little thought that afternoon that he should ever come to really like boat<strong>in</strong>g. Harris is more accustomed to sea row<strong>in</strong>g than to river work, and says that, as an exercise, he prefers it. I don’t. I remember tak<strong>in</strong>g a small boat out at Eastbourne last summer: I used to do a good deal of sea row<strong>in</strong>g years ago, and I thought I should be all right; but I found I had forgotten the art entirely. When one scull was deep down underneath the water, the other would be flourish<strong>in</strong>g wildly about <strong>in</strong> the air. To get a grip of the water with both at the same time I had to stand up. The parade was
— 163 — crowded with nobility and gentry, and I had to pull past them <strong>in</strong> this ridiculous fashion. I landed half-way down the beach, and secured the services of an old boatman to take me back. I like to watch an old boatman row<strong>in</strong>g, especially one who has been hired by the hour. There is someth<strong>in</strong>g so beautifully calm and restful about his method. It is so free from that fretful haste, that vehement striv<strong>in</strong>g, that is every day becom<strong>in</strong>g more and more the bane of n<strong>in</strong>eteenth-century life. He is not for ever stra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g himself to pass all the other boats. If another boat overtakes him and passes him it does not annoy him; as a matter of fact, they all do overtake him and pass him — all those that are go<strong>in</strong>g his way. This would trouble and irritate some people; the sublime equanimity of the hired boatman under the ordeal affords us a beautiful lesson aga<strong>in</strong>st ambition and uppishness. Pla<strong>in</strong> practical row<strong>in</strong>g of the get-the-boat-along order is not a very difficult art to acquire, but it takes a good deal of practice before a man feels comfortable, when row<strong>in</strong>g past girls. It is the “time” that worries a youngster. “It’s jolly funny,” he says, as for the twentieth time with<strong>in</strong> five m<strong>in</strong>utes he disentangles his sculls from yours; “I can get on all right when I’m by myself !” To see two novices try to keep time with one another is very amus<strong>in</strong>g. Bow f<strong>in</strong>ds it impossible to keep pace with stroke, because stroke rows <strong>in</strong> such an extraord<strong>in</strong>ary fashion. Stroke is <strong>in</strong>tensely <strong>in</strong>dignant at this, and expla<strong>in</strong>s that what he has been endeavour<strong>in</strong>g to do for the last ten m<strong>in</strong>utes is to adapt his method to bow’s limited capacity. Bow, <strong>in</strong> turn, then becomes <strong>in</strong>sulted, and requests stroke not to trouble his head about him (bow), but to devote his m<strong>in</strong>d to sett<strong>in</strong>g a sensible stroke. “Or, shall I take stroke?” he adds, with the evident idea that that would at once put the whole matter right. They splash along for another hundred yards with still moderate success, and then the whole secret of their trouble bursts upon stroke like a flash of <strong>in</strong>spiration.
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
Page 27 and 28:
— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
Page 63 and 64:
— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80:
— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84:
— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
Page 111 and 112: — 111 — ing ba
Page 113 and 114: — 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116: — 115 — and there false John’
Page 117 and 118: — 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 119 and 120: — 119 — drawin
Page 121 and 122: — 121 — King
Page 123 and 124: — 123 — But Harris, who is an o
Page 125 and 126: — 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128: — 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130: — 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132: — 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134: — 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136: — 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138: — 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140: — 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142: — 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144: — 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146: — 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148: — 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150: — 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152: — 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154: — 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156: — 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158: — 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160: — 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161: — 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168: — 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170: — 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172: — 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174: — 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176: — 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178: — 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180: — 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182: — 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205: — 204 — and false-hearted enoug
Page 206 and 207: — 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209: — 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211: — 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213:
— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239:
— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241:
— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243:
— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251:
— 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253:
— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265:
— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
Page 284 and 285:
— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299:
— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303:
— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305:
— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311:
— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313:
— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317:
— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321:
— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327:
— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329:
— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339:
— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345:
— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349:
— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351:
— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357:
— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359:
— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
Page 362 and 363:
— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365:
— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371:
— 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373:
— 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375:
— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383:
— 382 — in Ger
Page 384 and 385:
— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
Page 390 and 391:
— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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