Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 232 — where, and out rolled all over the path some dozen or so little balls. “Catch ’em!” he shouted; “catch ’em! We mustn’t lose any of them.” He was quite excited about them. We grovelled round for half an hour, and found sixteen. He said he hoped we had got them all, because, if not, it would make a serious difference to the mach<strong>in</strong>e. He said there was noth<strong>in</strong>g you should be more careful about <strong>in</strong> tak<strong>in</strong>g a bicycle to pieces than see<strong>in</strong>g you did not lose any of the balls. He expla<strong>in</strong>ed that you ought to count them as you took them out, and see that exactly the same number went back <strong>in</strong> each place. I promised, if ever I took a bicycle to pieces I would remember his advice. I put the balls for safety <strong>in</strong> my hat, and I put my hat upon the doorstep. It was not a sensible th<strong>in</strong>g to do, I admit. As a matter of fact, it was a silly th<strong>in</strong>g to do. I am not as a rule addle-headed; his <strong>in</strong>fluence must have affected me. He then said that while he was about it he would see to the cha<strong>in</strong> for me, and at once began tak<strong>in</strong>g off the gear-case. I did try to persuade him from that. I told him what an experienced friend of m<strong>in</strong>e once said to me solemnly: — “If anyth<strong>in</strong>g goes wrong with your gear-case, sell the mach<strong>in</strong>e and buy a new one; it comes cheaper.” He said: “People talk like that who understand noth<strong>in</strong>g about mach<strong>in</strong>es. Noth<strong>in</strong>g is easier than tak<strong>in</strong>g off a gearcase.” I had to confess he was right. In less than five m<strong>in</strong>utes he had the gear-case <strong>in</strong> two pieces, ly<strong>in</strong>g on the path, and was grovell<strong>in</strong>g for screws. He said it was always a mystery to him the way screws disappeared. We were still look<strong>in</strong>g for the screws when Ethelbertha came out. She seemed surprised to f<strong>in</strong>d us there; she said she thought we had started hours ago. He said: “We shan’t be long now. I’m just help<strong>in</strong>g your husband to overhaul this mach<strong>in</strong>e of his. It’s a good mach<strong>in</strong>e; but they all want go<strong>in</strong>g over occasionally.”
— 233 — Ethelbertha said: “If you want to wash yourselves when you have done you might go <strong>in</strong>to the back kitchen, if you don’t m<strong>in</strong>d; the girls have just f<strong>in</strong>ished the bedrooms.” She told me that if she met Kate they would probably go for a sail; but that <strong>in</strong> any case she would be back to lunch. I would have given a sovereign to be go<strong>in</strong>g with her. I was gett<strong>in</strong>g heartily sick of stand<strong>in</strong>g about watch<strong>in</strong>g this fool break<strong>in</strong>g up my bicycle. Common sense cont<strong>in</strong>ued to whisper to me: “Stop him, before he does any more mischief. You have a right to protect your own property from the ravages of a lunatic. Take him by the scruff of the neck, and kick him out of the gate!” But I am weak when it comes to hurt<strong>in</strong>g other people’s feel<strong>in</strong>gs, and I let him muddle on. He gave up look<strong>in</strong>g for the rest of the screws. He said screws had a knack of turn<strong>in</strong>g up when you least expected them; and that now he would see to the cha<strong>in</strong>. He tightened it till it would not move; next he loosened it until it was twice as loose as it was before. Then he said we had better th<strong>in</strong>k about gett<strong>in</strong>g the front wheel back <strong>in</strong>to its place aga<strong>in</strong>. I held the fork open, and he worried with the wheel. At the end of ten m<strong>in</strong>utes I suggested he should hold the forks, and that I should handle the wheel; and we changed places. At the end of his first m<strong>in</strong>ute he dropped the mach<strong>in</strong>e, and took a short walk round the croquet lawn, with his hands pressed together between his thighs. He expla<strong>in</strong>ed as he walked that the th<strong>in</strong>g to be careful about was to avoid gett<strong>in</strong>g your f<strong>in</strong>gers p<strong>in</strong>ched between the forks and the spokes of the wheel. I replied I was conv<strong>in</strong>ced, from my own experience, that there was much truth <strong>in</strong> what he said. He wrapped himself up <strong>in</strong> a couple of dusters, and we commenced aga<strong>in</strong>. At length we did get the th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to position; and the moment it was <strong>in</strong> position he burst out laugh<strong>in</strong>g. I said: “What’s the joke?” He said: “Well, I am an ass!”
Page 1:
Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
Page 27 and 28:
— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
Page 41 and 42:
— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80:
— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84:
— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98:
— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102:
— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132:
— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140:
— 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142:
— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182: — 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205: — 204 — and false-hearted enoug
Page 206 and 207: — 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209: — 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211: — 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213: — 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215: — 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217: — 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219: — 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221: — 220 — “She’s goin
Page 222 and 223: — 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225: — 224 — In this way he sped mer
Page 226 and 227: — 226 — on? Very well, put it d
Page 228 and 229: — 228 — every fool has thought
Page 230 and 231: — 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
Page 234 and 235: — 234 — It was the first th<str
Page 236 and 237: — 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239: — 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241: — 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243: — 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245: — 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247: — 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249: — 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251: — 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253: — 252 — Taking
Page 254 and 255: — 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257: — 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
Page 258 and 259: — 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261: — 260 — We gave them hi
Page 262 and 263: — 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265: — 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267: — 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269: — 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271: — 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273: — 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275: — 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277: — 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279: — 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281: — 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311:
— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313:
— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327:
— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339:
— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365:
— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371:
— 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373:
— 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375:
— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383:
— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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