Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest House: and the sociability there<strong>in</strong> — Its perfume — George positively decl<strong>in</strong>es to rema<strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong> bed after four o’clock <strong>in</strong> the morn<strong>in</strong>g — The road one cannot miss — My peculiar extra <strong>in</strong>st<strong>in</strong>ct — An ungrateful party — Harris as a scientist — His cheery confidence — The village: where it was, and where it ought to have been — George: his plan — We promenade a la Francais — The German coachman asleep and awake — The man who spreads the English language abroad. THERE was one night when, tired out and far from town or village, we slept <strong>in</strong> a Black Forest farmhouse. The great charm about the Black Forest house is its sociability. The cows are <strong>in</strong> the next room, the horses are upstairs, the geese and ducks are <strong>in</strong> the kitchen, while the pigs, the children, and the chickens live all over the place. You are dress<strong>in</strong>g, when you hear a grunt beh<strong>in</strong>d you. “Good-morn<strong>in</strong>g! Don’t happen to have any potato peel<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> here? No, I see you haven’t; good-bye.” Next there is a cackle, and you see the neck of an old hen stretched round the corner. “F<strong>in</strong>e morn<strong>in</strong>g, isn’t it? You don’t m<strong>in</strong>d my br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g this worm of m<strong>in</strong>e <strong>in</strong> here, do you? It is so difficult <strong>in</strong> this house to f<strong>in</strong>d a room where one can enjoy one’s food with any quietness. From a chicken I have always been a slow eater, and when a dozen — there, I thought they wouldn’t leave me alone. Now they’ll all want a bit. You don’t m<strong>in</strong>d my gett<strong>in</strong>g on the bed, do you? Perhaps here they won’t notice me.” While you are dress<strong>in</strong>g various shock heads peer <strong>in</strong> at the door; they evidently regard the room as a temporary menagerie. You cannot tell whether the heads belong to boys or girls; you can only hope they are all male. It is of no use shutt<strong>in</strong>g the door, because there is noth<strong>in</strong>g to fasten it by, and the moment you are gone they push it open aga<strong>in</strong>. You breakfast as the Prodigal Son is generally represented feed<strong>in</strong>g: a pig or two drop <strong>in</strong> to keep you company; a party of elderly geese criticise you from the door; you gather from their whispers, added to
— 339 — their shocked expression, that they are talk<strong>in</strong>g scandal about you. Maybe a cow will condescend to give a glance <strong>in</strong>. This Noah’s Ark arrangement it is, I suppose, that gives to the Black Forest home its dist<strong>in</strong>ctive scent. It is not a scent you can liken to any one th<strong>in</strong>g. It is as if you took roses and Limburger cheese and hair oil, some heather and onions, peaches and soapsuds, together with a dash of sea air and a corpse, and mixed them up together. You cannot def<strong>in</strong>e any particular odour, but you feel they are all there — all the odours that the world has yet discovered. People who live <strong>in</strong> these houses are fond of this mixture. They do not open the w<strong>in</strong>dow and lose any of it; they keep it carefully bottled up. If you want any other scent, you can go outside and smell the wood violets and the p<strong>in</strong>es; <strong>in</strong>side there is the house; and after a while, I am told, you get used to it, so that you miss it, and are unable to go to sleep <strong>in</strong> any other atmosphere. We had a long walk before us the next day, and it was our desire, therefore, to get up early, even so early as six o’clock, if that could be managed without disturb<strong>in</strong>g the whole household. We put it to our hostess whether she thought this could be done. She said she thought it could. She might not be about herself at that time; it was her morn<strong>in</strong>g for go<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to the town, some eight miles off, and she rarely got back much before seven; but, possibly, her husband or one of the boys would be return<strong>in</strong>g home to lunch about that hour. Anyhow, somebody should be sent back to wake us and get our breakfast. As it turned out, we did not need any wak<strong>in</strong>g. We got up at four, all by ourselves. We got up at four <strong>in</strong> order to get away from the noise and the d<strong>in</strong> that was mak<strong>in</strong>g our heads ache. What time the Black Forest peasant rises <strong>in</strong> the summer time I am unable to say; to us they appeared to be gett<strong>in</strong>g up all night. And the first th<strong>in</strong>g the Black Forester does when he gets up is to put on a pair of stout boots with wooden soles, and take a constitutional round the house. Until he has been three times up and down the stairs, he does not feel he is up. Once fully awake himself, the next th<strong>in</strong>g he does is to go upstairs to the
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
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— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
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— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
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— 103 — “What’s the matter,
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— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
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— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
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— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
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— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
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— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
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— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
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— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
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— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
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— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
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— 183 — common practice up the
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— 185 — There was a good deal o
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— 187 — and in
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— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
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— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
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— 193 — George took the fun mor
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— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
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— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
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— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
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— 218 — Do you thin</st
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— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
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— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
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— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
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— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
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— 248 — and reflectin</
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— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
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— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
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— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
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— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
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— 268 — “Because the sun coul
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— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
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— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
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— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
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— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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Page 290 and 291: — 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 292 and 293: — 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295: — 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297: — 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299: — 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301: — 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303: — 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305: — 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307: — 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309: — 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311: — 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313: — 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315: — 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317: — 316 — horse was tired, and th
Page 318 and 319: — 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321: — 320 — He ignored my offer. He
Page 322 and 323: — 322 — could speak English and
Page 324 and 325: — 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327: — 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329: — 328 — But at four o’clock <
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Page 332 and 333: — 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335: — 334 — idleness! How would you
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Page 340 and 341: — 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343: — 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345: — 344 — upon it was due north o
Page 346 and 347: — 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349: — 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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Page 352 and 353: — 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355: — 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357: — 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359: — 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361: — 360 — “we had better make t
Page 362 and 363: — 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365: — 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367: — 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369: — 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371: — 370 — ment of the head or bod
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Page 374 and 375: — 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377: — 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379: — 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381: — 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383: — 382 — in Ger
Page 384 and 385: — 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387: — 386 — Possibly, he will have
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— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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