Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he asked, quite sharply. “I can’t tell you,” I answered. “I don’t know whose bicycle it is.” “Where did you get it from?” was his next question. There was a suspiciousness about his tone that was almost <strong>in</strong>sult<strong>in</strong>g. “I got it,” I answered, with as much calm dignity as at the moment I could assume, “out of the tra<strong>in</strong>. The fact is,” I cont<strong>in</strong>ued, frankly, “I have made a mistake.” He did not allow me time to f<strong>in</strong>ish. He merely said he thought so too, and blew a whistle. Recollection of the subsequent proceed<strong>in</strong>gs is not, so far as I am concerned, amus<strong>in</strong>g. By a miracle of good luck — they say Providence watches over certa<strong>in</strong> of us — the <strong>in</strong>cident happened <strong>in</strong> Carlsruhe, where I possess a German friend, an official of some importance. Upon what would have been my fate had the station not been at Carlsruhe, or had my friend been from home, I do not care to dwell; as it was I got off, as the say<strong>in</strong>g is, by the sk<strong>in</strong> of my teeth. I should like to add that I left Carlsruhe without a sta<strong>in</strong> upon my character, but that would not be the truth. My go<strong>in</strong>g scot free is regarded <strong>in</strong> police circles there to this day as a grave miscarriage of justice. But all lesser s<strong>in</strong> s<strong>in</strong>ks <strong>in</strong>to <strong>in</strong>significance beside the lawlessness of George. The bicycle <strong>in</strong>cident had thrown us all <strong>in</strong>to confusion, with the result that we lost George altogether. It transpired subsequently that he was wait<strong>in</strong>g for us outside the police court; but this at the time we did not know. We thought, maybe, he had gone on to Baden by himself; and anxious to get away from Carlsruhe, and not, perhaps, th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g out th<strong>in</strong>gs too clearly, we jumped <strong>in</strong>to the next tra<strong>in</strong> that came up and proceeded thither. When George, tired of wait<strong>in</strong>g, returned to the station, he found us gone and he found his luggage gone. Harris had his ticket; I was act<strong>in</strong>g as banker to the party, so that he had <strong>in</strong> his pocket only some small change. Excus<strong>in</strong>g himself upon these grounds, he thereupon commenced deliberately a career of crime that, read<strong>in</strong>g it later, as set forth baldly
— 313 — <strong>in</strong> the official summons, made the hair of Harris and myself almost to stand on end. German travell<strong>in</strong>g, it may be expla<strong>in</strong>ed, is somewhat complicated. You buy a ticket at the station you start from for the place you want to go to. You might th<strong>in</strong>k this would enable you to get there, but it does not. When your tra<strong>in</strong> comes up, you attempt to swarm <strong>in</strong>to it; but the guard magnificently waves you away. Where are your credentials? You show him your ticket. He expla<strong>in</strong>s to you that by itself that is of no service whatever; you have only taken the first step towards travell<strong>in</strong>g; you must go back to the book<strong>in</strong>g-office and get <strong>in</strong> addition what is called a “schnellzug ticket.” With this you return, th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g your troubles over. You are allowed to get <strong>in</strong>, so far so good. But you must not sit down anywhere, and you must not stand still, and you must not wander about. You must take another ticket, this time what is called a “platz ticket,” which entitles you to a place for a certa<strong>in</strong> distance. What a man could do who persisted <strong>in</strong> tak<strong>in</strong>g noth<strong>in</strong>g but the one ticket, I have often wondered. Would he be entitled to run beh<strong>in</strong>d the tra<strong>in</strong> on the six-foot way? Or could he stick a label on himself and get <strong>in</strong>to the goods van? Aga<strong>in</strong>, what could be done with the man who, hav<strong>in</strong>g taken his schnellzug ticket, obst<strong>in</strong>ately refused, or had not the money to take a platz ticket: would they let him lie <strong>in</strong> the umbrella rack, or allow him to hang himself out of the w<strong>in</strong>dow? To return to George, he had just sufficient money to take a third-class slow tra<strong>in</strong> ticket to Baden, and that was all. To avoid the <strong>in</strong>quisitiveness of the guard, he waited till the tra<strong>in</strong> was mov<strong>in</strong>g, and then jumped <strong>in</strong>. That was his first s<strong>in</strong>: (a) Enter<strong>in</strong>g a tra<strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong> motion; (b) After be<strong>in</strong>g warned not to do so by an official. Second s<strong>in</strong>: (a) Travell<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> tra<strong>in</strong> of superior class to that for which ticket was held. (b) Refus<strong>in</strong>g to pay difference when demanded by an official.
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
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— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
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— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
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— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
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— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
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— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
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— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
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— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
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— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
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— 248 — and reflectin</
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— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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Page 264 and 265: — 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267: — 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269: — 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271: — 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273: — 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275: — 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277: — 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279: — 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281: — 280 — among them proceeded to
Page 282 and 283: — 282 — sleigh — do not pract
Page 284 and 285: — 284 — he turned his attention
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Page 288 and 289: — 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291: — 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 292 and 293: — 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295: — 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297: — 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299: — 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301: — 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303: — 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305: — 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307: — 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309: — 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311: — 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 314 and 315: — 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317: — 316 — horse was tired, and th
Page 318 and 319: — 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321: — 320 — He ignored my offer. He
Page 322 and 323: — 322 — could speak English and
Page 324 and 325: — 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327: — 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329: — 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331: — 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333: — 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335: — 334 — idleness! How would you
Page 336 and 337: — 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339: — 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
Page 340 and 341: — 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343: — 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345: — 344 — upon it was due north o
Page 346 and 347: — 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349: — 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351: — 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353: — 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355: — 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357: — 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359: — 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361: — 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
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— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
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— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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