Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 134 — tiff, and one or two collies, and a St. Bernard, a few retrievers and Newfoundlands, a boar-hound, a French poodle, with plenty of hair round its head, but mangy about the middle; a bull-dog, a few Lowther Arcade sort of animals, about the size of rats, and a couple of Yorkshire tykes. There they sat, patient, good, and thoughtful. A solemn peacefulness seemed to reign <strong>in</strong> that lobby. An air of calmness and resignation — of gentle sadness pervaded the room. Then a sweet young lady entered, lead<strong>in</strong>g a meek-look<strong>in</strong>g little fox-terrier, and left him, cha<strong>in</strong>ed up there, between the bull-dog and the poodle. He sat and looked about him for a m<strong>in</strong>ute. Then he cast up his eyes to the ceil<strong>in</strong>g, and seemed, judg<strong>in</strong>g from his expression, to be th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g of his mother. Then he yawned. Then he looked round at the other dogs, all silent, grave, and dignified. He looked at the bull-dog, sleep<strong>in</strong>g dreamlessly on his right. He looked at the poodle, erect and haughty, on his left. Then, without a word of warn<strong>in</strong>g, without the shadow of a provocation, he bit that poodle’s near fore-leg, and a yelp of agony rang through the quiet shades of that lobby. The result of his first experiment seemed highly satisfactory to him, and he determ<strong>in</strong>ed to go on and make th<strong>in</strong>gs lively all round. He sprang over the poodle and vigorously attacked a collie, and the collie woke up, and immediately commenced a fierce and noisy contest with the poodle. Then Foxey came back to his own place, and caught the bull-dog by the ear, and tried to throw him away; and the bull-dog, a curiously impartial animal, went for everyth<strong>in</strong>g he could reach, <strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g the hall-porter, which gave that dear little terrier the opportunity to enjoy an un<strong>in</strong>terrupted fight of his own with an equally will<strong>in</strong>g Yorkshire tyke. Anyone who knows can<strong>in</strong>e nature need hardly be told that, by this time, all the other dogs <strong>in</strong> the place were fight<strong>in</strong>g as if their hearths and homes depended on the fray. The big dogs fought each other <strong>in</strong>discrim<strong>in</strong>ately; and the little dogs fought
— 135 — among themselves, and filled up their spare time by bit<strong>in</strong>g the legs of the big dogs. The whole lobby was a perfect pandemonium, and the d<strong>in</strong> was terrific. A crowd assembled outside <strong>in</strong> the Haymarket, and asked if it was a vestry meet<strong>in</strong>g; or, if not, who was be<strong>in</strong>g murdered, and why? <strong>Men</strong> came with poles and ropes, and tried to separate the dogs, and the police were sent for. And <strong>in</strong> the midst of the riot that sweet young lady returned, and snatched up that sweet little dog of hers (he had laid the tyke up for a month, and had on the expression, now, of a newborn lamb) <strong>in</strong>to her arms, and kissed him, and asked him if he was killed, and what those great nasty brutes of dogs had been do<strong>in</strong>g to him; and he nestled up aga<strong>in</strong>st her, and gazed up <strong>in</strong>to her face with a look that seemed to say: “Oh, I’m so glad you’ve come to take me away from this disgraceful scene!” She said that the people at the Stores had no right to allow great savage th<strong>in</strong>gs like those other dogs to be put with respectable people’s dogs, and that she had a great m<strong>in</strong>d to summon somebody. Such is the nature of fox-terriers; and, therefore, I do not blame Montmorency for his tendency to row with cats; but he wished he had not given way to it that morn<strong>in</strong>g. We were, as I have said, return<strong>in</strong>g from a dip, and half-way up the High Street a cat darted out from one of the houses <strong>in</strong> front of us, and began to trot across the road. Montmorency gave a cry of joy — the cry of a stern warrior who sees his enemy given over to his hands — the sort of cry Cromwell might have uttered when the Scots came down the hill — and flew after his prey. His victim was a large black Tom. I never saw a larger cat, nor a more disreputable-look<strong>in</strong>g cat. It had lost half its tail, one of its ears, and a fairly appreciable proportion of its nose. It was a long, s<strong>in</strong>ewy-look<strong>in</strong>g animal. It had a calm, contented air about it. Montmorency went for that poor cat at the rate of twenty miles an hour; but the cat did not hurry up — did not seem to
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84: — 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86: — 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
Page 87 and 88: — 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
Page 89 and 90: — 89 — or his hat has dropped <
Page 91 and 92: — 91 — did it, and the boat rus
Page 93 and 94: — 93 — twenty min</stro
Page 95 and 96: — 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98: — 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
Page 99 and 100: — 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102: — 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104: — 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106: — 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108: — 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110: — 109 — George listened, and a
Page 111 and 112: — 111 — ing ba
Page 113 and 114: — 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116: — 115 — and there false John’
Page 117 and 118: — 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 119 and 120: — 119 — drawin
Page 121 and 122: — 121 — King
Page 123 and 124: — 123 — But Harris, who is an o
Page 125 and 126: — 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128: — 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130: — 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132: — 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133: — 133 — around them — the sof
Page 137 and 138: — 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140: — 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142: — 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144: — 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146: — 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148: — 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150: — 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152: — 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154: — 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156: — 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158: — 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160: — 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161 and 162: — 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164: — 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168: — 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170: — 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172: — 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174: — 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176: — 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178: — 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180: — 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182: — 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188:
— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192:
— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196:
— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209:
— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251:
— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
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— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
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— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
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— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
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— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383:
— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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