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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 21 —<br />

deep below <strong>the</strong> wav<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g waters; or sad spirits, chant<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g dirges<br />

for white corpses, held by seaweed?” Harris would take you by<br />

<strong>the</strong> arm, and say:<br />

“I know what it is, old man; you’ve got a chill. Now, you<br />

come al<strong>on</strong>g with me. I know a place round <strong>the</strong> corner here,<br />

where you can get a drop of <strong>the</strong> f<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>est Scotch whisky you ever<br />

tasted — put you right <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> less than no time.”<br />

Harris always does know a place round <strong>the</strong> corner where<br />

you can get someth<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g brilliant <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> <strong>the</strong> dr<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>k<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g l<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>e. I believe<br />

that if you met Harris up <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> Paradise (suppos<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g such a th<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g<br />

likely), he would immediately greet you with:<br />

“So glad you’ve come, old fellow; I’ve found a nice place<br />

round <strong>the</strong> corner here, where you can get some really firstclass<br />

nectar.”<br />

In <strong>the</strong> present <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>stance, however, as regarded <strong>the</strong> camp<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g<br />

out, his practical view of <strong>the</strong> matter came as a very timely h<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>t.<br />

Camp<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g out <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> ra<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>y wea<strong>the</strong>r is not pleasant.<br />

It is even<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g. You are wet through, and <strong>the</strong>re is a good two<br />

<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>ches of water <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> <strong>the</strong> boat, and all <strong>the</strong> th<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>gs are damp. You<br />

f<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>d a place <strong>on</strong> <strong>the</strong> banks that is not quite so puddly as o<strong>the</strong>r<br />

places you have seen, and you land and lug out <strong>the</strong> tent, and<br />

two of you proceed to fix it.<br />

It is soaked and heavy, and it flops about, and tumbles down<br />

<strong>on</strong> you, and cl<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>gs round your head and makes you mad. The<br />

ra<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> is pour<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g steadily down all <strong>the</strong> time. It is difficult enough<br />

to fix a tent <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> dry wea<strong>the</strong>r: <str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g> wet, <strong>the</strong> task becomes herculean.<br />

Instead of help<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g you, it seems to you that <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r man is<br />

simply play<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g <strong>the</strong> fool. Just as you get your side beautifully<br />

fixed, he gives it a hoist from his end, and spoils it all.<br />

“Here! what are you up to?” you call out.<br />

“What are you up to?” he retorts; “leggo, can’t you?”<br />

“D<strong>on</strong>’t pull it; you’ve got it all wr<strong>on</strong>g, you stupid ass!” you<br />

shout.<br />

“No, I haven’t,” he yells back; “let go your side!”<br />

“I tell you you’ve got it all wr<strong>on</strong>g!” you roar, wish<str<strong>on</strong>g>in</str<strong>on</strong>g>g that

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