Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 234 — It was the first th<strong>in</strong>g he had said that made me respect him. I asked him what had led him to the discovery. He said: “We’ve forgotten the balls!” I looked for my hat; it was ly<strong>in</strong>g topsy-turvy <strong>in</strong> the middle of the path, and Ethelbertha’s favourite hound was swallow<strong>in</strong>g the balls as fast as he could pick them up. “He will kill himself,” said Ebbson — I have never met him s<strong>in</strong>ce that day, thank the Lord; but I th<strong>in</strong>k his name was Ebbson — “they are solid steel.” I said: “I am not troubl<strong>in</strong>g about the dog. He has had a bootlace and a packet of needles already this week. Nature’s the best guide; puppies seem to require this k<strong>in</strong>d of stimulant. What I am th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g about is my bicycle.” He was of a cheerful disposition. He said: “Well, we must put back all we can f<strong>in</strong>d, and trust to Providence.” We found eleven. We fixed six on one side and five on the other, and half an hour later the wheel was <strong>in</strong> its place aga<strong>in</strong>. It need hardly be added that it really did wobble now; a child might have noticed it. Ebbson said it would do for the present. He appeared to be gett<strong>in</strong>g a bit tired himself. If I had let him, he would, I believe, at this po<strong>in</strong>t have gone home. I was determ<strong>in</strong>ed now, however, that he should stop and f<strong>in</strong>ish; I had abandoned all thoughts of a ride. My pride <strong>in</strong> the mach<strong>in</strong>e he had killed. My only <strong>in</strong>terest lay now <strong>in</strong> see<strong>in</strong>g him scratch and bump and p<strong>in</strong>ch himself. I revived his droop<strong>in</strong>g spirits with a glass of beer and some judicious praise. I said: “Watch<strong>in</strong>g you do this is of real use to me. It is not only your skill and dexterity that fasc<strong>in</strong>ates me, it is your cheery confidence <strong>in</strong> yourself, your <strong>in</strong>explicable hopefulness, that does me good.” Thus encouraged, he set to work to refix the gear-case. He stood the bicycle aga<strong>in</strong>st the house, and worked from the off side. Then he stood it aga<strong>in</strong>st a tree, and worked from the near side. Then I held it for him, while he lay on the ground with his head between the wheels, and worked at it from below, and dropped oil upon himself. Then he took it away from me, and
— 235 — doubled himself across it like a pack-saddle, till he lost his balance and slid over on to his head. <strong>Three</strong> times he said: “Thank Heaven, that’s right at last!” And twice he said: “No, I’m damned if it is after all!” What he said the third time I try to forget. Then he lost his temper and tried bully<strong>in</strong>g the th<strong>in</strong>g. The bicycle, I was glad to see, showed spirit; and the subsequent proceed<strong>in</strong>gs degenerated <strong>in</strong>to little else than a rough-and-tumble fight between him and the mach<strong>in</strong>e. One moment the bicycle would be on the gravel path, and he on top of it; the next, the position would be reversed — he on the gravel path, the bicycle on him. Now he would be stand<strong>in</strong>g flushed with victory, the bicycle firmly fixed between his legs. But his triumph would be short-lived. By a sudden, quick movement it would free itself, and, turn<strong>in</strong>g upon him, hit him sharply over the head with one of its handles. At a quarter to one, dirty and dishevelled, cut and breed<strong>in</strong>g, he said: “I th<strong>in</strong>k that will do;” and rose and wiped his brow. The bicycle looked as if it also had had enough of it. Which had received most punishment it would have been difficult to say. I took him <strong>in</strong>to the back kitchen, where, so far as was possible without soda and proper tools, he cleaned himself, and sent him home. The bicycle I put <strong>in</strong>to a cab and took round to the nearest repair<strong>in</strong>g shop. The foreman of the works came up and looked at it. “What do you want me to do with that?” said he. “I want you,” I said, “so far as is possible, to restore it.” “It’s a bit far gone,” said he; “but I’ll do my best.” He did his best, which came to two pounds ten. But it was never the same mach<strong>in</strong>e aga<strong>in</strong>; and at the end of the season I left it <strong>in</strong> an agent’s hands to sell. I wished to deceive nobody; I <strong>in</strong>structed the man to advertise it as a last year’s mach<strong>in</strong>e. The agent advised me not to mention any date. He said: “In this bus<strong>in</strong>ess it isn’t a question of what is true and what
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
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— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
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— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
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— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205: — 204 — and false-hearted enoug
Page 206 and 207: — 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209: — 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211: — 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213: — 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215: — 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217: — 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219: — 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221: — 220 — “She’s goin
Page 222 and 223: — 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225: — 224 — In this way he sped mer
Page 226 and 227: — 226 — on? Very well, put it d
Page 228 and 229: — 228 — every fool has thought
Page 230 and 231: — 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
Page 232 and 233: — 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 236 and 237: — 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239: — 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241: — 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243: — 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245: — 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247: — 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249: — 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251: — 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253: — 252 — Taking
Page 254 and 255: — 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257: — 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
Page 258 and 259: — 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261: — 260 — We gave them hi
Page 262 and 263: — 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265: — 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267: — 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269: — 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271: — 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273: — 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275: — 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277: — 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279: — 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281: — 280 — among them proceeded to
Page 282 and 283: — 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
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— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
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— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
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— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
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— 330 — contin
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— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
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— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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