Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 54 — CHAPTER VI. K<strong>in</strong>gston. — Instructive remarks on early English history. — Instructive observations on carved oak and life <strong>in</strong> general. — Sad case of stivv<strong>in</strong>gs, junior. — Mus<strong>in</strong>gs on antiquity. — I forget that I am steer<strong>in</strong>g. — Interest<strong>in</strong>g result. — Hampton Court Maze. — Harris as a guide. IT was a glorious morn<strong>in</strong>g, late spr<strong>in</strong>g or early summer, as you care to take it, when the da<strong>in</strong>ty sheen of grass and leaf is blush<strong>in</strong>g to a deeper green; and the year seems like a fair young maid, trembl<strong>in</strong>g with strange, waken<strong>in</strong>g pulses on the br<strong>in</strong>k of womanhood. The qua<strong>in</strong>t back streets of K<strong>in</strong>gston, where they came down to the water’s edge, looked quite picturesque <strong>in</strong> the flash<strong>in</strong>g sunlight, the gl<strong>in</strong>t<strong>in</strong>g river with its drift<strong>in</strong>g barges, the wooded towpath, the trim-kept villas on the other side, Harris, <strong>in</strong> a red and orange blazer, grunt<strong>in</strong>g away at the sculls, the distant glimpses of the grey old palace of the Tudors, all made a sunny picture, so bright but calm, so full of life, and yet so peaceful, that, early <strong>in</strong> the day though it was, I felt myself be<strong>in</strong>g dreamily lulled off <strong>in</strong>to a mus<strong>in</strong>g fit. I mused on K<strong>in</strong>gston, or “Kyn<strong>in</strong>gestun,” as it was once called <strong>in</strong> the days when Saxon “k<strong>in</strong>ges” were crowned there. Great Caesar crossed the river there, and the Roman legions camped upon its slop<strong>in</strong>g uplands. Caesar, like, <strong>in</strong> later years, Elizabeth, seems to have stopped everywhere: only he was more respectable than good Queen Bess; he didn’t put up at the public-houses. She was nuts on public-houses, was England’s Virg<strong>in</strong> Queen. There’s scarcely a pub. of any attractions with<strong>in</strong> ten miles of London that she does not seem to have looked <strong>in</strong> at, or stopped at, or slept at, some time or other. I wonder now, suppos<strong>in</strong>g Harris, say, turned over a new leaf, and became a great and good man, and got to be Prime M<strong>in</strong>ister, and died, if they would put up signs over the public-houses that he had patronised: “Harris had a glass of bitter <strong>in</strong> this house;” “Harris
— 55 — had two of Scotch cold here <strong>in</strong> the summer of ’88;” “Harris was chucked from here <strong>in</strong> December, 1886.” No, there would be too many of them! It would be the houses that he had never entered that would become famous. “Only house <strong>in</strong> South London that Harris never had a dr<strong>in</strong>k <strong>in</strong>!” The people would flock to it to see what could have been the matter with it. How poor weak-m<strong>in</strong>ded K<strong>in</strong>g Edwy must have hated Kyn<strong>in</strong>gestun! The coronation feast had been too much for him. Maybe boar’s head stuffed with sugar-plums did not agree with him (it wouldn’t with me, I know), and he had had enough of sack and mead; so he slipped from the noisy revel to steal a quiet moonlight hour with his beloved Elgiva. Perhaps, from the casement, stand<strong>in</strong>g hand-<strong>in</strong>-hand, they were watch<strong>in</strong>g the calm moonlight on the river, while from the distant halls the boisterous revelry floated <strong>in</strong> broken bursts of fa<strong>in</strong>t-heard d<strong>in</strong> and tumult. Then brutal Odo and St. Dunstan force their rude way <strong>in</strong>to the quiet room, and hurl coarse <strong>in</strong>sults at the sweet-faced Queen, and drag poor Edwy back to the loud clamour of the drunken brawl. Years later, to the crash of battle-music, Saxon k<strong>in</strong>gs and Saxon revelry were buried side by side, and K<strong>in</strong>gston’s greatness passed away for a time, to rise once more when Hampton Court became the palace of the Tudors and the Stuarts, and the royal barges stra<strong>in</strong>ed at their moor<strong>in</strong>gs on the river’s bank, and bright-cloaked gallants swaggered down the water-steps to cry: “What Ferry, ho! Gadzooks, gramercy.” Many of the old houses, round about, speak very pla<strong>in</strong>ly of those days when K<strong>in</strong>gston was a royal borough, and nobles and courtiers lived there, near their K<strong>in</strong>g, and the long road to the palace gates was gay all day with clank<strong>in</strong>g steel and pranc<strong>in</strong>g palfreys, and rustl<strong>in</strong>g silks and velvets, and fair faces. The large and spacious houses, with their oriel, latticed w<strong>in</strong>dows, their huge fireplaces, and their gabled roofs, breathe of the days of hose and doublet, of pearl-embroidered stomachers,
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
Page 4 and 5: PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
Page 6 and 7: dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
Page 9 and 10: CHAPTER I. Three I
Page 11 and 12: — 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
Page 13 and 14: — 13 — make me feel more anxiou
Page 15 and 16: — 15 — I am told; and was event
Page 17 and 18: — 17 — boat-loads of them; but
Page 19 and 20: — 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
Page 21 and 22: — 21 — deep below the wav<stron
Page 23 and 24: — 23 — comes, however, and all
Page 25 and 26: — 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
Page 27 and 28: — 27 — And then he would lift u
Page 29 and 30: — 29 — blow, the nail would go
Page 31 and 32: — 31 — whether you have ever se
Page 33 and 34: — 33 — position or in</
Page 35 and 36: — 35 — At the end of that trip
Page 37 and 38: — 37 — little thin</str
Page 39 and 40: — 39 — rid of them. He threw th
Page 41 and 42: — 41 — “Ain
Page 43 and 44: — 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46: — 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
Page 47 and 48: — 47 — fatalities, and the weat
Page 49 and 50: — 49 — longed spell of grand we
Page 51 and 52: — 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
Page 53: — 53 — should all know when we
Page 57 and 58: — 57 — be that of the average h
Page 59 and 60: — 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62: — 61 — Harris, however, said he
Page 63 and 64: — 63 — on until, at last, they
Page 65 and 66: — 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
Page 67 and 68: — 67 — worn in
Page 69 and 70: — 69 — down on your — I mean
Page 71 and 72: — 71 — about, makin</st
Page 73 and 74: — 73 — of the river, and was ev
Page 75 and 76: — 75 — by slouchin</str
Page 77 and 78: — 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80: — 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
Page 81 and 82: — 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84: — 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86: — 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
Page 87 and 88: — 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
Page 89 and 90: — 89 — or his hat has dropped <
Page 91 and 92: — 91 — did it, and the boat rus
Page 93 and 94: — 93 — twenty min</stro
Page 95 and 96: — 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98: — 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
Page 99 and 100: — 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102: — 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104: — 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108:
— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116:
— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130:
— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134:
— 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136:
— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140:
— 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142:
— 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144:
— 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146:
— 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148:
— 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150:
— 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152:
— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156:
— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158:
— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161 and 162:
— 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164:
— 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166:
— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168:
— 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170:
— 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172:
— 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174:
— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184:
— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188:
— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192:
— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196:
— 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198:
— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203:
— 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205:
— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209:
— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211:
— 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213:
— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
Page 222 and 223:
— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
Page 226 and 227:
— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
Page 228 and 229:
— 228 — every fool has thought
Page 230 and 231:
— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
Page 232 and 233:
— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
Page 236 and 237:
— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239:
— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241:
— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243:
— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247:
— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251:
— 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253:
— 252 — Taking
Page 254 and 255:
— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
Page 258 and 259:
— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
Page 262 and 263:
— 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265:
— 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267:
— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277:
— 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279:
— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
Page 282 and 283:
— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
Page 284 and 285:
— 284 — he turned his attention
Page 286 and 287:
— 286 — in pub
Page 288 and 289:
— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 292 and 293:
— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299:
— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303:
— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305:
— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311:
— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313:
— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317:
— 316 — horse was tired, and th
Page 318 and 319:
— 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321:
— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
Page 322 and 323:
— 322 — could speak English and
Page 324 and 325:
— 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327:
— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329:
— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335:
— 334 — idleness! How would you
Page 336 and 337:
— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339:
— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
Page 340 and 341:
— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345:
— 344 — upon it was due north o
Page 346 and 347:
— 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349:
— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351:
— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357:
— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359:
— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
Page 362 and 363:
— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365:
— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371:
— 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373:
— 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375:
— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383:
— 382 — in Ger
Page 384 and 385:
— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
Page 390 and 391:
— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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