Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 386 — Possibly, he will have his outer walls pa<strong>in</strong>ted by the local artist: a sangu<strong>in</strong>ary battle, a good deal <strong>in</strong>terfered with by the front door, tak<strong>in</strong>g place below, while Bismarck, as an angel, flutters vaguely about the bedroom w<strong>in</strong>dows. But for his Old Masters he is quite content to go to the public galleries; and “the Celebrity at Home” not hav<strong>in</strong>g as yet taken its place amongst the <strong>in</strong>stitutions of the Fatherland, he is not impelled to waste his, money turn<strong>in</strong>g his house <strong>in</strong>to an old curiosity shop. The German is a gourmand. There are still English farmers who, while tell<strong>in</strong>g you that farm<strong>in</strong>g spells starvation, enjoy their seven solid meals a day. Once a year there comes a week’s feast throughout Russia, dur<strong>in</strong>g which many deaths occur from the over-eat<strong>in</strong>g of pancakes; but this is a religious festival, and an exception. Tak<strong>in</strong>g him all round, the German as a trencherman stands pre-em<strong>in</strong>ent among the nations of the earth. He rises early, and while dress<strong>in</strong>g tosses off a few cups of coffee, together with half a dozen hot buttered rolls. But it is not until ten o’clock that he sits down to anyth<strong>in</strong>g that can properly be called a meal. At one or half-past takes place his chief d<strong>in</strong>ner. Of this he makes a bus<strong>in</strong>ess, sitt<strong>in</strong>g at it for a couple of hours. At four o’clock he goes to the café, and eats cakes and dr<strong>in</strong>ks chocolate. The even<strong>in</strong>g he devotes to eat<strong>in</strong>g generally — not a set meal, or rarely, but a series of snacks, — a bottle of beer and a Belegte-semmel or two at seven, say; another bottle of beer and an Aufschnitt at the theatre between the acts; a small bottle of white w<strong>in</strong>e and a Spiegeleier before go<strong>in</strong>g home; then a piece of cheese or sausage, washed down by more beer, previous to turn<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> for the night. But he is no gourmet. French cooks and French prices are not the rule at his restaurant. His beer or his <strong>in</strong>expensive native white w<strong>in</strong>e he prefers to the most costly clarets or champagnes. And, <strong>in</strong>deed, it is well for him he does; for one is <strong>in</strong>cl<strong>in</strong>ed to th<strong>in</strong>k that every time a French grower sells a bottle of w<strong>in</strong>e to a German hotel- or shop-keeper, Sedan is rankl<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> his m<strong>in</strong>d. It is a foolish revenge, see<strong>in</strong>g that it is not the German who as a rule dr<strong>in</strong>ks it; the punishment falls upon some
— 387 — <strong>in</strong>nocent travell<strong>in</strong>g Englishman. Maybe, however, the French dealer remembers also Waterloo, and feels that <strong>in</strong> any event he scores. In Germany expensive enterta<strong>in</strong>ments are neither offered nor expected. Everyth<strong>in</strong>g throughout the Fatherland is homely and friendly. The German has no costly sports to pay for, no showy establishment to ma<strong>in</strong>ta<strong>in</strong>, no purse-proud circle to dress for. His chief pleasure, a seat at the opera or concert, can be had for a few marks; and his wife and daughters walk there <strong>in</strong> home-made dresses, with shawls over their heads. Indeed, throughout the country the absence of all ostentation is to English eyes quite refresh<strong>in</strong>g. Private carriages are few and far between, and even the droschke is made use of only when the quicker and cleaner electric car is not available. By such means the German reta<strong>in</strong>s his <strong>in</strong>dependence. The shopkeeper <strong>in</strong> Germany does not fawn upon his customers. I accompanied an English lady once on a shopp<strong>in</strong>g excursion <strong>in</strong> Munich. She had been accustomed to shopp<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> London and New York, and she grumbled at everyth<strong>in</strong>g the man showed her. It was not that she was really dissatisfied; this was her method. She expla<strong>in</strong>ed that she could get most th<strong>in</strong>gs cheaper and better elsewhere; not that she really thought she could, merely she held it good for the shopkeeper to say this. She told him that his stock lacked taste — she did not mean to be offensive; as I have expla<strong>in</strong>ed, it was her method; — that there was no variety about it; that it was not up to date; that it was commonplace; that it looked as if it would not wear. He did not argue with her; he did not contradict her. He put the th<strong>in</strong>gs back <strong>in</strong>to their respective boxes, replaced the boxes on their respective shelves, walked <strong>in</strong>to the little parlour beh<strong>in</strong>d the shop, and closed the door. “Isn’t he ever com<strong>in</strong>g back?” asked the lady, after a couple of m<strong>in</strong>utes had elapsed. Her tone did not imply a question, so much as an exclamation of mere impatience. “I doubt it,” I replied.
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
Page 19 and 20:
— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
Page 27 and 28:
— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
Page 35 and 36:
— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
Page 41 and 42:
— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
Page 47 and 48:
— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
Page 49 and 50:
— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
Page 53 and 54:
— 53 — should all know when we
Page 55 and 56:
— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
Page 57 and 58:
— 57 — be that of the average h
Page 59 and 60:
— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
Page 63 and 64:
— 63 — on until, at last, they
Page 65 and 66:
— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80:
— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
Page 81 and 82:
— 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84:
— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
Page 87 and 88:
— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
Page 89 and 90:
— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
Page 91 and 92:
— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
Page 95 and 96:
— 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98:
— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
Page 99 and 100:
— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102:
— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108:
— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116:
— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 119 and 120:
— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130:
— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134:
— 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136:
— 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138:
— 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140:
— 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142:
— 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144:
— 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146:
— 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148:
— 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150:
— 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152:
— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156:
— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158:
— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161 and 162:
— 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164:
— 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166:
— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168:
— 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170:
— 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172:
— 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174:
— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184:
— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188:
— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192:
— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196:
— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203:
— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209:
— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
Page 228 and 229:
— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
Page 236 and 237:
— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239:
— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241:
— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243:
— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251:
— 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253:
— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265:
— 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267:
— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
Page 284 and 285:
— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 292 and 293:
— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299:
— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303:
— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305:
— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311:
— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313:
— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317:
— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321:
— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
Page 324 and 325:
— 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327:
— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329:
— 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331:
— 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333:
— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
Page 336 and 337: — 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339: — 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
Page 340 and 341: — 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343: — 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345: — 344 — upon it was due north o
Page 346 and 347: — 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349: — 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351: — 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353: — 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355: — 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357: — 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359: — 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361: — 360 — “we had better make t
Page 362 and 363: — 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365: — 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367: — 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369: — 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371: — 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373: — 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375: — 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377: — 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379: — 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381: — 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383: — 382 — in Ger
Page 384 and 385: — 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 388 and 389: — 388 — “Why not?” she aske
Page 390 and 391: — 390 — a girl, she never under
Page 392: INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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