Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 158 — “Well, hang it all, I’ve done more than old J., anyhow,” rejo<strong>in</strong>ed Harris. “Well, you couldn’t very well have done less,” added George. “I suppose J. th<strong>in</strong>ks he is the passenger,” cont<strong>in</strong>ued Harris. And that was their gratitude to me for hav<strong>in</strong>g brought them and their wretched old boat all the way up from K<strong>in</strong>gston, and for hav<strong>in</strong>g super<strong>in</strong>tended and managed everyth<strong>in</strong>g for them, and taken care of them, and slaved for them. It is the way of the world. We settled the present difficulty by arrang<strong>in</strong>g that Harris and George should scull up past Read<strong>in</strong>g, and that I should tow the boat on from there. Pull<strong>in</strong>g a heavy boat aga<strong>in</strong>st a strong stream has few attractions for me now. There was a time, long ago, when I used to clamour for the hard work: now I like to give the youngsters a chance. I notice that most of the old river hands are similarly retir<strong>in</strong>g, whenever there is any stiff pull<strong>in</strong>g to be done. You can always tell the old river hand by the way <strong>in</strong> which he stretches himself out upon the cushions at the bottom of the boat, and encourages the rowers by tell<strong>in</strong>g them anecdotes about the marvellous feats he performed last season. “Call what you’re do<strong>in</strong>g hard work!” he drawls, between his contented whiffs, address<strong>in</strong>g the two perspir<strong>in</strong>g novices, who have been gr<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g away steadily up stream for the last hour and a half; “why, Jim Biffles and Jack and I, last season, pulled up from Marlow to Gor<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> one afternoon — never stopped once. Do you remember that, Jack?” Jack, who has made himself a bed up <strong>in</strong> the prow of all the rugs and coats he can collect, and who has been ly<strong>in</strong>g there asleep for the last two hours, partially wakes up on be<strong>in</strong>g thus appealed to, and recollects all about the matter, and also remembers that there was an unusually strong stream aga<strong>in</strong>st them all the way — likewise a stiff w<strong>in</strong>d. “About thirty-four miles, I suppose, it must have been,” adds the first speaker, reach<strong>in</strong>g down another cushion to put under his head.
— 159 — “No — no; don’t exaggerate, Tom,” murmurs Jack, reprov<strong>in</strong>gly; “thirty-three at the outside.” And Jack and Tom, quite exhausted by this conversational effort, drop off to sleep once more. And the two simple-m<strong>in</strong>ded youngsters at the sculls feel quite proud of be<strong>in</strong>g allowed to row such wonderful oarsmen as Jack and Tom, and stra<strong>in</strong> away harder than ever. When I was a young man, I used to listen to these tales from my elders, and take them <strong>in</strong>, and swallow them, and digest every word of them, and then come up for more; but the new generation do not seem to have the simple faith of the old times. We — George, Harris, and myself — took a “raw’un” up with us once last season, and we plied him with the customary stretchers about the wonderful th<strong>in</strong>gs we had done all the way up. We gave him all the regular ones — the time-honoured lies that have done duty up the river with every boat<strong>in</strong>g-man for years past — and added seven entirely orig<strong>in</strong>al ones that we had <strong>in</strong>vented for ourselves, <strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g a really quite likely story, founded, to a certa<strong>in</strong> extent, on an all but true episode, which had actually happened <strong>in</strong> a modified degree some years ago to friends of ours — a story that a mere child could have believed without <strong>in</strong>jur<strong>in</strong>g itself, much. And that young man mocked at them all, and wanted us to repeat the feats then and there, and to bet us ten to one that we didn’t. We got to chatt<strong>in</strong>g about our row<strong>in</strong>g experiences this morn<strong>in</strong>g, and to recount<strong>in</strong>g stories of our first efforts <strong>in</strong> the art of oarsmanship. My own earliest boat<strong>in</strong>g recollection is of five of us contribut<strong>in</strong>g threepence each and tak<strong>in</strong>g out a curiously constructed craft on the Regent’s Park lake, dry<strong>in</strong>g ourselves subsequently, <strong>in</strong> the park-keeper’s lodge. After that, hav<strong>in</strong>g acquired a taste for the water, I did a good deal of raft<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> various suburban brickfields — an exercise provid<strong>in</strong>g more <strong>in</strong>terest and excitement than might be imag<strong>in</strong>ed, especially when you are <strong>in</strong> the middle of the pond and
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
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— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108: — 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110: — 109 — George listened, and a
Page 111 and 112: — 111 — ing ba
Page 113 and 114: — 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116: — 115 — and there false John’
Page 117 and 118: — 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 119 and 120: — 119 — drawin
Page 121 and 122: — 121 — King
Page 123 and 124: — 123 — But Harris, who is an o
Page 125 and 126: — 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128: — 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130: — 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132: — 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134: — 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136: — 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138: — 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140: — 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142: — 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144: — 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146: — 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148: — 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150: — 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152: — 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154: — 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156: — 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157: — 157 — in my
Page 161 and 162: — 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164: — 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
Page 167 and 168: — 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170: — 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172: — 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174: — 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176: — 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178: — 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180: — 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182: — 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184: — 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205: — 204 — and false-hearted enoug
Page 206 and 207: — 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209:
— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
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— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
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— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
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— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
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— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315:
— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
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— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
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— 330 — contin
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— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339:
— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355:
— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361:
— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
Page 364 and 365:
— 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367:
— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369:
— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387:
— 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389:
— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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