Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 362 — him comfortable. At supper he sat next to me, and I talked to him. “Tell me,” I said — I was curious on the subject — “what language was it you spoke when you first came <strong>in</strong>?” “German,” he expla<strong>in</strong>ed. “Oh,” I replied, “I beg your pardon.” “You did not understand it?” he cont<strong>in</strong>ued. “It must have been my fault,” I answered; “my knowledge is extremely limited. One picks up a little here and there as one goes about, but of course that is a different th<strong>in</strong>g.” “But they did not understand it,” he replied, “the landlord and his wife; and it is their own language.” “I do not th<strong>in</strong>k so,” I said. “The children hereabout speak German, it is true, and our landlord and landlady know German to a certa<strong>in</strong> po<strong>in</strong>t. But throughout Alsace and Lorra<strong>in</strong>e the old people still talk French.” “And I spoke to them <strong>in</strong> French also,” he added, “and they understood that no better.” “It is certa<strong>in</strong>ly very curious,” I agreed. “It is more than curious,” he replied; “<strong>in</strong> my case it is <strong>in</strong>comprehensible. I possess a diploma for modern languages. I won my scholarship purely on the strength of my French and German. The correctness of my construction, the purity of my pronunciation, was considered at my college to be quite remarkable. Yet, when I come abroad hardly anybody understands a word I say. Can you expla<strong>in</strong> it?” “I th<strong>in</strong>k I can,” I replied. “Your pronunciation is too faultless. You remember what the Scotsman said when for the first time <strong>in</strong> his life he tasted real whisky: ‘It may be puir, but I canna dr<strong>in</strong>k it’; so it is with your German. It strikes one less as a language than as an exhibition. If I might offer advice, I should say: Mispronounce as much as possible, and throw <strong>in</strong> as many mistakes as you can th<strong>in</strong>k of.” It is the same everywhere. Each country keeps a special pronunciation exclusively for the use of foreigners — a pronunciation they never dream of us<strong>in</strong>g themselves, that they cannot
— 363 — understand when it is used. I once heard an English lady expla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g to a Frenchman how to pronounce the word Have. “You will pronounce it,” said the lady reproachfully, “as if it were spelt H-a-v. It isn’t. There is an ‘e’ at the end.” “But I thought,” said the pupil, “that you did not sound the ‘e’ at the end of h-a-v-e.” “No more you do,” expla<strong>in</strong>ed his teacher. “It is what we call a mute ‘e’; but it exercises a modify<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>fluence on the preced<strong>in</strong>g vowel.” Before that, he used to say “have” quite <strong>in</strong>telligently. Afterwards, when he came to the word he would stop dead, collect his thoughts, and give expression to a sound that only the context could expla<strong>in</strong>. Putt<strong>in</strong>g aside the suffer<strong>in</strong>gs of the early martyrs, few men, I suppose, have gone through more than I myself went through <strong>in</strong> try<strong>in</strong>g to I atta<strong>in</strong> the correct pronunciation of the German word for church — “Kirche.” Long before I had done with it I had determ<strong>in</strong>ed never to go to church <strong>in</strong> Germany, rather than be bothered with it. “No, no,” my teacher would expla<strong>in</strong> — he was a pa<strong>in</strong>stak<strong>in</strong>g gentleman; “you say it as if it were spelt K-i-r-c-h-k-e. There is no k. It is — .” And he would illustrate to me aga<strong>in</strong>, for the twentieth time that morn<strong>in</strong>g, how it should be pronounced; the sad th<strong>in</strong>g be<strong>in</strong>g that I could never for the life of me detect any difference between the way he said it and the way I said it. So he would try a new method. “You say it from your throat,” he would expla<strong>in</strong>. He was quite right; I did. “I want you to say it from down here,” and with a fat foref<strong>in</strong>ger he would <strong>in</strong>dicate the region from where I was to start. After pa<strong>in</strong>ful efforts, result<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> sounds suggestive of anyth<strong>in</strong>g rather than a place of worship, I would excuse myself. “I really fear it is impossible,” I would say. “You see, for years I have always talked with my mouth, as it were; I never knew a man could talk with his stomach. I doubt if it is not too late now for me to learn.”
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
Page 27 and 28:
— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
Page 35 and 36:
— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
Page 41 and 42:
— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
Page 45 and 46:
— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
Page 47 and 48:
— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
Page 49 and 50:
— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
Page 53 and 54:
— 53 — should all know when we
Page 55 and 56:
— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
Page 57 and 58:
— 57 — be that of the average h
Page 59 and 60:
— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
Page 63 and 64:
— 63 — on until, at last, they
Page 65 and 66:
— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
Page 77 and 78:
— 77 — then try and make it up
Page 79 and 80:
— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
Page 81 and 82:
— 81 — and, as the two young me
Page 83 and 84:
— 83 — of five min</str
Page 85 and 86:
— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
Page 87 and 88:
— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
Page 89 and 90:
— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
Page 91 and 92:
— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
Page 95 and 96:
— 95 — tion; and then we both w
Page 97 and 98:
— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
Page 99 and 100:
— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
Page 101 and 102:
— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
Page 107 and 108:
— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
Page 109 and 110:
— 109 — George listened, and a
Page 111 and 112:
— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
Page 115 and 116:
— 115 — and there false John’
Page 117 and 118:
— 117 — it been a Richard there
Page 119 and 120:
— 119 — drawin
Page 121 and 122:
— 121 — King
Page 123 and 124:
— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
Page 125 and 126:
— 125 — joy that he fai
Page 127 and 128:
— 127 — It was George’s straw
Page 129 and 130:
— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132:
— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134:
— 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136:
— 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138:
— 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140:
— 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142:
— 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144:
— 143 — scendin</strong
Page 145 and 146:
— 145 — river, bein</st
Page 147 and 148:
— 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150:
— 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152:
— 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154:
— 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156:
— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158:
— 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160:
— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
Page 161 and 162:
— 161 — prompt and graceful met
Page 163 and 164:
— 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166:
— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
Page 169 and 170:
— 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172:
— 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174:
— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176:
— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
Page 183 and 184:
— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188:
— 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190:
— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192:
— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194:
— 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196:
— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203:
— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209:
— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213:
— 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215:
— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219:
— 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221:
— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
Page 224 and 225:
— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
Page 230 and 231:
— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
Page 232 and 233:
— 232 — where, and out rolled a
Page 234 and 235:
— 234 — It was the first th<str
Page 236 and 237:
— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
Page 238 and 239:
— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241:
— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243:
— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245:
— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247:
— 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249:
— 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251:
— 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253:
— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
Page 256 and 257:
— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
Page 260 and 261:
— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
Page 264 and 265:
— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269:
— 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271:
— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273:
— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275:
— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281:
— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
Page 290 and 291:
— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
Page 292 and 293:
— 292 — some cushions for sale.
Page 294 and 295:
— 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297:
— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299:
— 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301:
— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303:
— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305:
— 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307:
— 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309:
— 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311:
— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313: — 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315: — 314 — (George says he did not
Page 316 and 317: — 316 — horse was tired, and th
Page 318 and 319: — 318 — to do, but must not: he
Page 320 and 321: — 320 — He ignored my offer. He
Page 322 and 323: — 322 — could speak English and
Page 324 and 325: — 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327: — 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329: — 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331: — 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333: — 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335: — 334 — idleness! How would you
Page 336 and 337: — 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
Page 338 and 339: — 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
Page 340 and 341: — 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343: — 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
Page 344 and 345: — 344 — upon it was due north o
Page 346 and 347: — 346 — had origin</str
Page 348 and 349: — 348 — unadorned truth, when I
Page 350 and 351: — 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353: — 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
Page 354 and 355: — 354 — of those fools that wil
Page 356 and 357: — 356 — was wasted. One felt so
Page 358 and 359: — 358 — drown him, but he never
Page 360 and 361: — 360 — “we had better make t
Page 364 and 365: — 364 — By spendin</str
Page 366 and 367: — 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
Page 368 and 369: — 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
Page 370 and 371: — 370 — ment of the head or bod
Page 372 and 373: — 372 — drink<
Page 374 and 375: — 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377: — 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379: — 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381: — 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
Page 382 and 383: — 382 — in Ger
Page 384 and 385: — 384 — who will go anywhere, a
Page 386 and 387: — 386 — Possibly, he will have
Page 388 and 389: — 388 — “Why not?” she aske
Page 390 and 391: — 390 — a girl, she never under
Page 392: INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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