Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 290 — The chief scandal of Dresden still centres round August the Strong, “the Man of S<strong>in</strong>,” as Carlyle always called him, who is popularly reputed to have cursed Europe with over a thousand children. Castles where he imprisoned this discarded mistress or that — one of them, who persisted <strong>in</strong> her claim to a better title, for forty years, it is said, poor lady! The narrow rooms where she ate her heart out and died are still shown. Châteaux, shameful for this deed of <strong>in</strong>famy or that, lie scattered round the neighbourhood like bones about a battlefield; and most of your guide’s stories are such as the “young person” educated <strong>in</strong> Germany had best not hear. His life-sized portrait hangs <strong>in</strong> the f<strong>in</strong>e Zw<strong>in</strong>ger, which he built as an arena for his wild beast fights when the people grew tired of them <strong>in</strong> the market-place; a beetle-browed, frankly animal man, but with the culture and taste that so often wait upon animalism. Modern Dresden undoubtedly owes much to him. But what the stranger <strong>in</strong> Dresden stares at most is, perhaps, its electric trams. These huge vehicles flash through the streets at from ten to twenty miles an hour, tak<strong>in</strong>g curves and corners after the manner of an Irish car driver. Everybody travels by them, except<strong>in</strong>g only officers <strong>in</strong> uniform, who must not. Ladies <strong>in</strong> even<strong>in</strong>g dress, go<strong>in</strong>g to ball or opera, porters with their baskets, sit side by side. They are all-important <strong>in</strong> the streets, and everyth<strong>in</strong>g and everybody makes haste to get out of their way. If you do not get out of their way, and you still happen to be alive when picked up, then on your recovery you are f<strong>in</strong>ed for hav<strong>in</strong>g been <strong>in</strong> their way. This teaches you to be wary of them. One afternoon Harris took a “bummel” by himself. In the even<strong>in</strong>g, as we sat listen<strong>in</strong>g to the band at the Belvedere, Harris said, a propos of noth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> particular, “These Germans have no sense of humour.” “What makes you th<strong>in</strong>k that?” I asked. “Why, this afternoon,” he answered, “I jumped on one of those electric tramcars. I wanted to see the town, so I stood outside on the little platform — what do you call it?”
— 291 — “The Stehplatz,” I suggested. “That’s it,” said Harris. “Well, you know the way they shake you about, and how you have to look out for the corners, and m<strong>in</strong>d yourself when they stop and when they start?” I nodded. “There were about half a dozen of us stand<strong>in</strong>g there,” he cont<strong>in</strong>ued, “and, of course, I am not experienced. The th<strong>in</strong>g started suddenly, and that jerked me backwards. I fell aga<strong>in</strong>st a stout gentleman, just beh<strong>in</strong>d me. He could not have been stand<strong>in</strong>g very firmly himself, and he, <strong>in</strong> his turn, fell back aga<strong>in</strong>st a boy who was carry<strong>in</strong>g a trumpet <strong>in</strong> a green baize case. They never smiled, neither the man nor the boy with the trumpet; they just stood there and looked sulky. I was go<strong>in</strong>g to say I was sorry, but before I could get the words out the tram eased up, for some reason or other, and that, of course, shot me forward aga<strong>in</strong>, and I butted <strong>in</strong>to a white-haired old chap, who looked to me like a professor. Well, he never smiled, never moved a muscle.” “Maybe, he was th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g of someth<strong>in</strong>g else,” I suggested. “That could not have been the case with them all,” replied Harris, “and <strong>in</strong> the course of that journey, I must have fallen aga<strong>in</strong>st every one of them at least three times. You see,” expla<strong>in</strong>ed Harris, “they knew when the corners were com<strong>in</strong>g, and <strong>in</strong> which direction to brace themselves. I, as a stranger, was naturally at a disadvantage. The way I rolled and staggered about that platform, clutch<strong>in</strong>g wildly now at this man and now at that, must have been really comic. I don’t say it was highclass humour, but it would have amused most people. Those Germans seemed to see no fun <strong>in</strong> it whatever — just seemed anxious, that was all. There was one man, a little man, who stood with his back aga<strong>in</strong>st the brake; I fell aga<strong>in</strong>st him five times, I counted them. You would have expected the fifth time would have dragged a laugh out of him, but it didn’t; he merely looked tired. They are a dull lot.” George also had an adventure at Dresden. There was a shop near the Altmarkt, <strong>in</strong> the w<strong>in</strong>dow of which were exhibited
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
Page 61 and 62:
— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
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— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
Page 103 and 104:
— 103 — “What’s the matter,
Page 105 and 106:
— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
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— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
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— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
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— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
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— 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
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— 133 — around them — the sof
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— 135 — among themselves, and f
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— 137 — of mutton from the hote
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— 139 — and George would sit do
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— 141 — We tried river water on
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— 143 — scendin</strong
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— 145 — river, bein</st
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— 147 — which he evidently wish
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— 149 — ing?
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— 151 — get more and more piano
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— 153 — We could not pass the w
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— 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
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— 157 — in my
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— 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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— 161 — prompt and graceful met
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— 163 — crowded with nobility a
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— 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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— 167 — from behin</str
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— 169 — adoptin</strong
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— 171 — be contin</stro
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— 173 — its dusky robe upon the
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— 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178:
— 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180:
— 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181 and 182:
— 181 — He said that br
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— 183 — common practice up the
Page 185 and 186:
— 185 — There was a good deal o
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— 187 — and in
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— 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
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— 191 — not to be afraid, but t
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— 193 — George took the fun mor
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— 195 — pression, unable to bea
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— 197 — lookin
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
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— 202 — George would make. A ba
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— 204 — and false-hearted enoug
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— 206 — to agree with him, —
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— 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
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— 210 — you might call it dull.
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— 212 — had the satisfaction of
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— 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217:
— 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
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— 218 — Do you thin</st
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— 220 — “She’s goin
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— 222 — not goin</stron
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— 224 — In this way he sped mer
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— 226 — on? Very well, put it d
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— 228 — every fool has thought
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— 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
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— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
Page 240 and 241: — 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
Page 242 and 243: — 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
Page 244 and 245: — 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
Page 246 and 247: — 246 — socks, it comes at you
Page 248 and 249: — 248 — and reflectin</
Page 250 and 251: — 250 — He would open his bag t
Page 252 and 253: — 252 — Taking
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Page 256 and 257: — 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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Page 260 and 261: — 260 — We gave them hi
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Page 264 and 265: — 264 — route between London an
Page 266 and 267: — 266 — the camera for us, have
Page 268 and 269: — 268 — “Because the sun coul
Page 270 and 271: — 270 — I have dwelt upon this
Page 272 and 273: — 272 — “I am glad of that. A
Page 274 and 275: — 274 — is not our way, and the
Page 276 and 277: — 276 — regards him as an anima
Page 278 and 279: — 278 — utes water a stretch of
Page 280 and 281: — 280 — among them proceeded to
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Page 284 and 285: — 284 — he turned his attention
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Page 294 and 295: — 294 — “‘I have said it th
Page 296 and 297: — 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
Page 298 and 299: — 298 — else in</strong
Page 300 and 301: — 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
Page 302 and 303: — 302 — his mouth, and tear his
Page 304 and 305: — 304 — only remember that <str
Page 306 and 307: — 306 — He stood there with his
Page 308 and 309: — 308 — George and I followed s
Page 310 and 311: — 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
Page 312 and 313: — 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
Page 314 and 315: — 314 — (George says he did not
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Page 320 and 321: — 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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Page 324 and 325: — 324 — lice could not do bette
Page 326 and 327: — 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
Page 328 and 329: — 328 — But at four o’clock <
Page 330 and 331: — 330 — contin
Page 332 and 333: — 332 — And the sun is always s
Page 334 and 335: — 334 — idleness! How would you
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Page 338 and 339: — 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
Page 342 and 343:
— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
Page 352 and 353:
— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
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— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
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— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
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— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
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— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
Page 376 and 377:
— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
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— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
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— 386 — Possibly, he will have
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— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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