Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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— 182 — CHAPTER XVIII. Locks. — George and I are photographed. — Wall<strong>in</strong>gford. — Dorchester. — Ab<strong>in</strong>gdon. — A family man. — A good spot for drown<strong>in</strong>g. — A difficult bit of water. — Demoraliz<strong>in</strong>g effect of river air. WE left Streatley early the next morn<strong>in</strong>g, and pulled up to Culham, and slept under the canvas, <strong>in</strong> the backwater there. The river is not extraord<strong>in</strong>arily <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g between Streatley and Wall<strong>in</strong>gford. From Cleve you get a stretch of six and a half miles without a lock. I believe this is the longest un<strong>in</strong>terrupted stretch anywhere above Tedd<strong>in</strong>gton, and the Oxford Club make use of it for their trial eights. But however satisfactory this absence of locks may be to row<strong>in</strong>g-men, it is to be regretted by the mere pleasure-seeker. For myself, I am fond of locks. They pleasantly break the monotony of the pull. I like sitt<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the boat and slowly ris<strong>in</strong>g out of the cool depths up <strong>in</strong>to new reaches and fresh views; or s<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g down, as it were, out of the world, and then wait<strong>in</strong>g, while the gloomy gates creak, and the narrow strip of day-light between them widens till the fair smil<strong>in</strong>g river lies full before you, and you push your little boat out from its brief prison on to the welcom<strong>in</strong>g waters once aga<strong>in</strong>. They are picturesque little spots, these locks. The stout old lock-keeper, or his cheerful-look<strong>in</strong>g wife, or bright-eyed daughter, are pleasant folk to have a pass<strong>in</strong>g chat with.* You meet other boats there, and river gossip is exchanged. The Thames would not be the fairyland it is without its flowerdecked locks. Talk<strong>in</strong>g of locks rem<strong>in</strong>ds me of an accident George and I very nearly had one summer’s morn<strong>in</strong>g at Hampton Court. It was a glorious day, and the lock was crowded; and, as is a * Or rather were. The Conservancy of late seems to have constituted itself <strong>in</strong>to a society for the employment of idiots. A good many of the new lock-keepers, especially <strong>in</strong> the more crowded portions of the river, are excitable, nervous old men, quite unfitted for their post.
— 183 — common practice up the river, a speculative photographer was tak<strong>in</strong>g a picture of us all as we lay upon the ris<strong>in</strong>g waters. I did not catch what was go<strong>in</strong>g on at first, and was, therefore, extremely surprised at notic<strong>in</strong>g George hurriedly smooth out his trousers, ruffle up his hair, and stick his cap on <strong>in</strong> a rakish manner at the back of his head, and then, assum<strong>in</strong>g an expression of m<strong>in</strong>gled affability and sadness, sit down <strong>in</strong> a graceful attitude, and try to hide his feet. My first idea was that he had suddenly caught sight of some girl he knew, and I looked about to see who it was. Everybody <strong>in</strong> the lock seemed to have been suddenly struck wooden. They were all stand<strong>in</strong>g or sitt<strong>in</strong>g about <strong>in</strong> the most qua<strong>in</strong>t and curious attitudes I have ever seen off a Japanese fan. All the girls were smil<strong>in</strong>g. Oh, they did look so sweet! And all the fellows were frown<strong>in</strong>g, and look<strong>in</strong>g stern and noble. And then, at last, the truth flashed across me, and I wondered if I should be <strong>in</strong> time. Ours was the first boat, and it would be unk<strong>in</strong>d of me to spoil the man’s picture, I thought. So I faced round quickly, and took up a position <strong>in</strong> the prow, where I leant with careless grace upon the hitcher, <strong>in</strong> an attitude suggestive of agility and strength. I arranged my hair with a curl over the forehead, and threw an air of tender wistfulness <strong>in</strong>to my expression, m<strong>in</strong>gled with a touch of cynicism, which I am told suits me. As we stood, wait<strong>in</strong>g for the eventful moment, I heard someone beh<strong>in</strong>d call out: “Hi! look at your nose.” I could not turn round to see what was the matter, and whose nose it was that was to be looked at. I stole a side-glance at George’s nose! It was all right — at all events, there was noth<strong>in</strong>g wrong with it that could be altered. I squ<strong>in</strong>ted down at my own, and that seemed all that could be expected also. “Look at your nose, you stupid ass!” came the same voice aga<strong>in</strong>, louder. And then another voice cried:
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Jerome K. Jerome Three</str
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PUBLISHER’S ADVERTISEMENT. IT may
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dle. Bad art may succeed for a time
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CHAPTER I. Three I
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— 11 — It had stopped beat<stro
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— 13 — make me feel more anxiou
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— 15 — I am told; and was event
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— 17 — boat-loads of them; but
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— 19 — CHAPTER II. Plans discus
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— 21 — deep below the wav<stron
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— 23 — comes, however, and all
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— 25 — with a slice of lemon, w
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— 27 — And then he would lift u
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— 29 — blow, the nail would go
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— 31 — whether you have ever se
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— 33 — position or in</
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— 35 — At the end of that trip
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— 37 — little thin</str
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— 39 — rid of them. He threw th
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— 41 — “Ain
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— 43 — “Stand still, can’t
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— 45 — CHAPTER V. Mrs. P. arous
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— 47 — fatalities, and the weat
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— 49 — longed spell of grand we
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— 51 — that Biggs’s boy (for
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— 53 — should all know when we
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— 55 — had two of Scotch cold h
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— 57 — be that of the average h
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— 59 — only the dug-up commonpl
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— 61 — Harris, however, said he
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— 63 — on until, at last, they
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— 65 — CHAPTER VII. The river <
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— 67 — worn in
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— 69 — down on your — I mean
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— 71 — about, makin</st
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— 73 — of the river, and was ev
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— 75 — by slouchin</str
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— 77 — then try and make it up
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— 79 — GENERAL CHORUS: ‘And h
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— 81 — and, as the two young me
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— 83 — of five min</str
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— 85 — Montmorency set up a fur
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— 87 — not. There may be tow-l<
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— 89 — or his hat has dropped <
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— 91 — did it, and the boat rus
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— 93 — twenty min</stro
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— 95 — tion; and then we both w
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— 97 — CHAPTER X. Our first nig
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— 99 — at Harris, began to stru
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— 101 — and deep, and tender; s
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— 103 — “What’s the matter,
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— 105 — Sometimes, our pa<stron
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— 107 — CHAPTER XI. How George,
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— 109 — George listened, and a
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— 111 — ing ba
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— 113 — the eggs that had not s
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— 115 — and there false John’
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— 117 — it been a Richard there
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— 119 — drawin
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— 121 — King
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— 123 — But Harris, who is an o
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— 125 — joy that he fai
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— 127 — It was George’s straw
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— 129 — three fishermen sat; an
Page 131 and 132: — 131 — CHAPTER XIII. Marlow.
Page 133 and 134: — 133 — around them — the sof
Page 135 and 136: — 135 — among themselves, and f
Page 137 and 138: — 137 — of mutton from the hote
Page 139 and 140: — 139 — and George would sit do
Page 141 and 142: — 141 — We tried river water on
Page 143 and 144: — 143 — scendin</strong
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Page 147 and 148: — 147 — which he evidently wish
Page 149 and 150: — 149 — ing?
Page 151 and 152: — 151 — get more and more piano
Page 153 and 154: — 153 — We could not pass the w
Page 155 and 156: — 155 — by “whisky,” or wha
Page 157 and 158: — 157 — in my
Page 159 and 160: — 159 — “No — no; don’t e
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Page 163 and 164: — 163 — crowded with nobility a
Page 165 and 166: — 165 — spare pole with us. I c
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Page 169 and 170: — 169 — adoptin</strong
Page 171 and 172: — 171 — be contin</stro
Page 173 and 174: — 173 — its dusky robe upon the
Page 175 and 176: — 175 — The Angler’s Guide to
Page 177 and 178: — 177 — “Oh, no; not now, sir
Page 179 and 180: — 179 — “Ah!” said the old
Page 181: — 181 — He said that br
Page 185 and 186: — 185 — There was a good deal o
Page 187 and 188: — 187 — and in
Page 189 and 190: — 189 — CHAPTER XIX. Oxford.
Page 191 and 192: — 191 — not to be afraid, but t
Page 193 and 194: — 193 — George took the fun mor
Page 195 and 196: — 195 — pression, unable to bea
Page 197 and 198: — 197 — lookin
Page 199: THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
Page 202 and 203: — 202 — George would make. A ba
Page 204 and 205: — 204 — and false-hearted enoug
Page 206 and 207: — 206 — to agree with him, —
Page 208 and 209: — 208 — with Ethelbertha by my
Page 210 and 211: — 210 — you might call it dull.
Page 212 and 213: — 212 — had the satisfaction of
Page 214 and 215: — 214 — CHAPTER II A delicate b
Page 216 and 217: — 216 — I wonder sometimes whet
Page 218 and 219: — 218 — Do you thin</st
Page 220 and 221: — 220 — “She’s goin
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Page 224 and 225: — 224 — In this way he sped mer
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Page 230 and 231: — 230 — rut it nipped you; it w
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— 232 — where, and out rolled a
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— 234 — It was the first th<str
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— 236 — isn’t; it’s a quest
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— 238 — lers. It commenced “O
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— 240 — CHAPTER IV Why Harris c
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— 242 — “Oh!” it says, “w
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— 244 — Harris’s new wheel. E
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— 246 — socks, it comes at you
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— 248 — and reflectin</
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— 250 — He would open his bag t
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— 252 — Taking
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— 254 — chose the very best sen
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— 256 — CHAPTER V A necessary d
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— 258 — wish here conscientious
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— 260 — We gave them hi
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— 262 — concernin</stro
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— 264 — route between London an
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— 266 — the camera for us, have
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— 268 — “Because the sun coul
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— 270 — I have dwelt upon this
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— 272 — “I am glad of that. A
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— 274 — is not our way, and the
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— 276 — regards him as an anima
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— 278 — utes water a stretch of
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— 280 — among them proceeded to
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— 282 — sleigh — do not pract
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— 284 — he turned his attention
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— 286 — in pub
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— 288 — and bench at which he c
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— 290 — The chief scandal of Dr
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— 292 — some cushions for sale.
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— 294 — “‘I have said it th
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— 296 — CHAPTER VIII Mr. and Mi
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— 298 — else in</strong
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— 300 — Brahe, the astronomer,
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— 302 — his mouth, and tear his
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— 304 — only remember that <str
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— 306 — He stood there with his
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— 308 — George and I followed s
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— 310 — CHAPTER IX Harris break
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— 312 — “Whose is it?” he a
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— 314 — (George says he did not
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— 316 — horse was tired, and th
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— 318 — to do, but must not: he
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— 320 — He ignored my offer. He
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— 322 — could speak English and
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— 324 — lice could not do bette
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— 326 — CHAPTER X Baden from th
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— 328 — But at four o’clock <
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— 330 — contin
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— 332 — And the sun is always s
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— 334 — idleness! How would you
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— 336 — way? It’s disgraceful
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— 338 — CHAPTER XI Black Forest
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— 340 — stables, and wake up a
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— 342 — “Don’t you th<stron
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— 344 — upon it was due north o
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— 346 — had origin</str
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— 348 — unadorned truth, when I
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— 350 — favoured in</st
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— 352 — At a quarter to one, sa
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— 354 — of those fools that wil
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— 356 — was wasted. One felt so
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— 358 — drown him, but he never
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— 360 — “we had better make t
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— 362 — him comfortable. At sup
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— 364 — By spendin</str
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— 366 — Cockneys — but the pi
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— 368 — In the centre, fac<stro
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— 370 — ment of the head or bod
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— 372 — drink<
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— 374 — his guest gets safely h
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— 376 — “It will be i
Page 378 and 379:
— 378 — She pushed open the doo
Page 380 and 381:
— 380 — CHAPTER XIV Which is se
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— 382 — in Ger
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— 384 — who will go anywhere, a
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— 386 — Possibly, he will have
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— 388 — “Why not?” she aske
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— 390 — a girl, she never under
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INHALT THREE MEN IN A BOAT . . . .
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Three Men in a Boat / Three Men on the Bummel

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