cecilia-ahern-love-rosie

love, rosie 231rude, is doing fine in school, has all the right limbs in all the right places, andhasn’t managed to do anything really stupid with her life. And out of all theawful stories you hear in life I think I’m doing a great job.I’m expecting Alex to burst through the door any minute. I’m sure hehas hopped on the first plane to get over here and beat up Brian. I supposethat’s what best friends are for. I can’t even think about what life “couldhave been” like in Boston, without crying. It’s like deja-vu, I don’t think meand Boston were ever meant to be. I don’t quite know where I should gofrom here. I have no job, no home, and I’m back living with Mum and Dadagain. As much as I’m grateful, everything about this house brings back atime when I wasn’t happy. I had a wonderful childhood but the years withKatie were so difficult, they’re the strongest memories I have of this house—the smells, the noises, the wallpaper, the bedrooms all remind me of latenights, early mornings, and worrying.Anyway forgive me for not being in contact over the past while, but I’vebeen trying to get my head around all of this. I’m trying to make some senseout of the phrase “Everything happens for a reason,” and I think I’ve figuredout what the reason is—to piss me off.When I started school I thought that people in sixth class were so oldand knowledgeable even though they were no older than twelve. When Ireached twelve I reckoned the people in sixth year, at eighteen years of age,must have known it all. When I reached eighteen I thought that once I finishedcollege then I would really be mature. At twenty-five I still hadn’t madeit to college, was still clueless and had a seven-year-old daughter. I was convincedthat when I reached my thirties I was going to have at least some clueas to what was going on.Nope, hasn’t happened yet.So I’m beginning to think that when I’m fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty,ninety years old I still won’t be any closer to being wise and knowledgeable.Perhaps people on their deathbed, who have had long, long lives, seen it all,traveled the world, have had kids, been through their own personal traumas,beaten their demons, and learned the harsh lessons of life will be thinking,“God, people in heaven must really know it all.”But I bet that when they finally do die they’ll join the rest of the crowds