cecilia-ahern-love-rosie

love, rosie 51I’m going to cope on my own. And I’m going to have to do that—I can’t livewith Mum and Dad forever. Although I really want to.I wouldn’t want Katie depending on me so much when she’s older. Ofcourse I want her to know that I’m here for her always and that my love isabsolutely unconditional, but she needs to be independent.I need to be independent. I think it’s time for me to grow up now Steph.I’ve been putting it off, running away from it for so long. Katie will be startingschool soon. Imagine! My baby starting school. It’s all happening soquickly. Katie will be meeting new people and beginning her life and I haveleft mine behind. I need to pick myself up and stop feeling so sorry formyself. Life is hard, so what?It’s hard for everyone isn’t it? Anyone who says it’s easy is a liar. There’sthis huge divide between me and Alex right now because I feel like we’re livingin such different worlds, I don’t know what to talk about with him anymore.And we used to be able to talk all night. He phones once a week and Ilisten to what he’s been up to during the week and try to bite my tongueevery time I go into another Katie story. Truth is I have nothing other to talkabout but her and I know it bores people. I think I used to be interestingonce upon a time.Anyway I’ve decided I’m going to visit Boston finally. I’m going to finallyface up to what my life could have been like had Alex gotten on that planeand made it to the debs with me instead of ...well you know who. I couldhave a degree now. I could have been a career woman. I know it seems sillyto put all that’s happened down to the fact that Alex couldn’t make it to thedebs but if he had come then I wouldn’t have gone with Brian. I wouldn’thave slept with Brian and there would be no baby. I think I need to facewhat I could have been in order to understand and accept what I am.All my love,Rosie