cecilia-ahern-love-rosie

348 Cecelia AhernI suppose it’s like going away to live in another country. Dad just had toget his papers ready, get dressed in his Sunday best, arrange his mode oftransport, and off he went to his final destination, wherever that may be. Oh,how much Mum would have loved to have gone on this particular trip withhim, but she knows she can’t.She just kept repeating to everyone at the funeral, “He just didn’t wakeup, I called him and called him, but he wouldn’t wake up.” She hasn’tstopped shaking since it’s happened and she looks like she’s aged twentyyears. Although she looks older, she seems younger. Like a lost little childwho looks around her and doesn’t know where to go, like suddenly she’s in awhole new place and she doesn’t know the way.I suppose she is. I suppose we all are.I’ve never been here before. I’m thirty-six years old and I’ve never lostanyone close to me. I’ve been to ten funerals in my life and they were of distantrelatives, friends of friends and family of friends whom my life is nonethe worse off without.But Dad going? God, that’s a big one.He was only sixty-six years old. Not old at all. And he was healthy.What causes a healthy sixty-six-year-old man to fall asleep and never wakeup? I can only comfort myself with thoughts that he saw something so beautifulthat he just had to go. That’s the kind of thing Dad would do.There’s something completely unnerving about seeing your parentsupset. I suppose it’s because they’re supposed to be the strong ones, butthat’s not just it. Ever since people are kids they use their parents as somesort of measurement for how bad a situation is. When you fall on the groundreally hard and you can’t figure out whether it hurts or not you look to yourparents. If they look worried and rush toward you, you cry. If they laugh andsmack the ground saying “Bold ground,” then you pick yourself up and geton with it.When you find out you’re pregnant and feel numb of all emotions youlook at their expressions. When both your mum and dad hug you and tellyou it’s going to be OK and that they’ll support you, you know it’s not theend of the world. But depending on the parents, it could have been prettydamn close.