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LifeWorksQuarterly NewsletterStrategies for Emotional Well-beingQ32009Growing StrongerThrough ChangeFinancial difficulties. Job loss. Illness. Divorce.We face unexpected changes and challengesthroughout our lives. How can you learn tokeep up a positive attitude and stay strongthrough such times? Here are some tips andsuggestions to help you deal with change:ßßßFirst, honestly assess the situation. Putthings in perspective. Ask yourself, “Howbig is this problem really?” And then,“What do I need to do?” Of course, therewill be moments when you cry, feel down,or are overwhelmed. But remind yourselfthat you will move forward.Second, recognize that you have achoice in how you handle challengesand change. You can’t choose whathappens to you. But you can choose howyou respond to what happens. You mightsay to yourself: “Things haven’t gone asplanned. I’ve had this unexpected setback.Now, what do I need to do?”Take responsibility for your actionsand don’t blame your circumstances.You can get help. You can get support.You can find others to help you out. But atthe end of the day, the person who mustmanage the challenges you are facing isyou. It’s your job to take control and takeresponsibility.Practice being resilientHere are resilience techniques to practice andwork on as a way of getting through challengingtimes:ßChoose to have a positive attitude.There are many things over which youhave no control — for example, youßßßßßcan’t control whether the stock marketcontinues to drop or whether you’ll loseyour job. You can’t control if your child isfaced with a serious illness. But what youcan do is choose how you respond to thedifficulties and setbacks you face.Take care of yourself. The strongerand fitter you are physically, the moreresources you will have to face thechallenges that life brings you. Practicehealthy habits, including getting enoughsleep and exercise, managing stress, andeating healthy foods.Calm yourself. During difficult andstressful times, we sometimes makematters worse by pushing the panicbutton and “catastrophizing.” But insteadof imagining the worst, try to calmyourself. Tell yourself, “I’m in this difficultsituation. But now I’m going to startmanaging it as best I can.”Decide not to be helpless. Try not to letthings overwhelm you.Trust your inner strength. Experts agreethat we have strengths we never knewwe had until we have to use them. You’llbe amazed at how many resources youhave that you never even knew about.Remember that change can lead topersonal growth.Start with a single step. If you arefaced with a challenge that feels big oroverwhelming, start with the simplestthing you can do that takes you in thedirection you want to be. Ask yourself,“What’s the smallest thing I can do to getstarted?” Once you’ve thought about it,do it.ßßßßLet go of your anger. A difficultchallenge can cause us to feel angry andupset. These feelings are normal, butthey won’t help us move forward. Workthrough your anger by writing about it ortalking about it with a trusted friend. Tryto let go of negative feelings. It’s not easyto do. It takes practice and work. But try.You’ll be amazed at the results.Focus on solutions, not problems.Instead of focusing on what you feel youmay be losing, consider what you maygain because of the change. For example,if your job is changing, this may be theopportunity you were waiting for toreassess your work and find new direction.Laugh. Even when things seem to befalling apart around you, try to find timeto smile and laugh. It’s very healing and itwill help you forget your worries for a fewmoments. Rent a movie that makes youlaugh or spend time with a friend with agood sense of humour.Focus on the things that are good inyour life. Count your blessings. Focus onthe things that are good in your life now.Try to appreciate the day-to-day goodthings. The more time you spend doingthat, the more energy you will have todeal with the problems that you face.A sense of gratitude helps put things inperspective.Finally, remind yourself that you will getthrough your difficult times and growstronger as a result.For more information, log on towww.lifeworks.com.The content in this article is based on a presentation give by Stephen Williams, Ph.D. He was battling a personal illness at the time and passed awaynine months later. Dr. Williams was an organizational psychologist and author, and an expert on resilience, work, and well-being.© 2009 Ceridian Corporation. All rights reserved.