What Color Is Your Parachute 2018 by Richard N. Bolles copy

In Conclusion: Self-Esteem Versus
Egotism
As most of us know, the proper attitude toward ourselves is called “good
self-esteem.” But self-esteem is an art. An art of balance. A balance
between thinking too little of ourselves, and thinking too much of
ourselves.
The name for thinking too much of ourselves is “egotism.” We have all
run into that, at some point in our lives, so we know what it looks like.
Some of us have even caught a passing glimpse of it in the mirror.
In our culture and others, we are taught to recoil from this in horror. We
even have mythologies warning us against it; the story of Narcissus comes
to mind. Poor guy! (See https://en.​wikipedia.​org/​wiki/​
Narcissus_(mythology) if you are unfamiliar with the myth.)
In order to avoid egotism, a lot of us go way overboard in the other
direction. We shrink from ever declaring that we have any virtue, any
excellency, any special gifts, lest we be accused of boasting. And so we
fall into that opposite pit from egotism, namely, ingratitude. We appear
ungrateful for the gifts that life, the universe, God—you name it—has
already given us.
So, how do we adopt the proper attitude toward our gifts—speaking of
them honestly, humbly, gratefully—without sounding egotistical?
Just this: the more you see your own gifts clearly, the more you must
pay attention to the gifts that others have.
The more sensitive you become to how unusual you are, the more you
must become sensitive to how unusual those around you are.
The more you pay attention to yourself, the more you must pay attention
to others.
The more you ponder the mystery of You, the more you must ponder the
mystery of all those you encounter, every loved one, every friend, every
acquaintance, every stranger.
People from other cultures will tell you about “the tall poppy” theory of
life, with its implication that you shouldn’t stand taller than others in your